Facebook Poking

I just realized that Facebook poking still exists. I was being a creeper and browsing through profiles when it popped up and said, “Poke this person”. I had no idea you could still do that.

This was back in the day when Facebook used to be cool and fun. Now it’s just annoying because everyone’s on their period and it brings me back to middle school. And then these things happen:

So-and-so commented on this-person-you-don’t-know’s picture.
Person-you-haven’t-spoken-to-in-3-years liked some-random-college-kid’s status.

Apparently Facebook thinks I care about the people I’m not friends with.

Sam thought he was the only person to have a poking war with me when we first started dating. Everyone had poke wars, and it was usually with the person you had a major crush on. I had to break his poor little heart and tell him, “no, sadly you weren’t.” He felt totally violated. Sam pulled out his phone and tried to poke me until Facebook reminded him that I’m a huge asshole and never responded to his last poke, which was probably four years ago. That was a huge slap to his face!

Now that I look back on the purpose of poking, I don’t know what it actually meant. How annoying would it be for someone to actually physically poke you constantly? You’d be pretty aggravated and want to slap them in the face. So why was it fun and sensual over Facebook? It basically said, “Hey, hi, it’s me. I still exist. Just thought I’d remind you.” Then when you poked them back, it meant, “Hi, uh, yeah. I know you’re there. We just saw each other the other day.” Then they poked you again, pretty much saying, “Well you didn’t text me, so I figured you forgot about me.” Then the next poke, “Just been busy. Still am,” and then nothing further. I can’t believe we actually thought this was cute.

We called them poke wars! Why did we do this? It required no skill. “Ah, you got me again! I have to poke you back.” “Ah crap, you noticed I poked you! How crazy! I have to backlash.” And on it went. All you had to do was whip out your phone, and click poke. We were like a bunch of cats entertained by a piece of string. We used this mechanism to not talk to people even more than we do now.

I’m just glad poking has come to an end. I didn’t realize how pointless it actually was until I was reminded it still existed


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