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I sat at a bar for nine hours and had the best nachos that God must be real

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What a weekend. What. A. Weekend. Lucky for Sam and I, we live only 6 hours from Phoenix and had the pleasure to hit the road to AZ for the Superbowl (and no, we did not have tickets! That would be crazy…).

I love road trips, hence why I had so much fun during our road trip from New Hampshire to California last June. Some people can’t stand it. I, however, love getting cozy in the passenger seat with a blanket, some chips, and blasting music the whole way and chatting up a storm with Sam by my side. He loves road trips too, but he hates traffic.

I’m not too crazy about traffic, but as long as music is playing, I am plenty entertained so it has never bothered me to the extent that it bothers Sam. We hit some traffic getting out of the LA area, which was predictable considering it was Superbowl weekend and a Friday afternoon. But we got to AZ in one piece and had some nice scenic mountains during the whole ride on the 10.

Naturally, we got to our Motel 6 outside of Phoenix and it was extremely uncomfortable. Hookers were on our block flagging down cars, a homeless person was on acid prancing around near the motel, and a group of shady men holding Louis Vuitton purses were questionable. I thought we might die every time I heard footsteps. Luckily, we didn’t spend too much time in the motel.

I just have to point out, not because I’m a Pats “fan” (I put in quotation marks because it’s a term I use lightly. I don’t follow football all that much, but when I do, I clap for my home team), but the Seahawks fans are not a very classy bunch. I know every fan base has a group of people who are loud, obnoxious, in your face, cocky, and downright rude. But I must say, it was rare meeting a Hawks fan that wasn’t like that. And this weekend was full of them. Easily 3 to 1 Seahawks fans. I’m pretty observant, and I’m such a softy when it comes to sports. I’m all like “You know, Russell Wilson seems like a pretty good guy.” I don’t sit at the bar and yell “YOU SUCK HAWKS!” because I’m just not that person, however, I know plenty of Pats fans that do that. But when I see a Seahawks fan picking a fight and calling out insults to an innocent Pats fan that did nothing but walk by, I can’t help but think “Calm down chica. You make your home team look bad!” I rarely saw a Patriots fan do anything of that nature to the Seahawks while in Phoenix. We may talk a big game on the internet, but I won’t see us pushing and shoving a rival fan just because they are standing there. It was quite irritating, and even more irritating for them to yell, “Cheaters!” whenever we walked by. At least come up with something a little more original than that. Our team is stained with that stereotype now and forever. But I believe in karma, and if they really did cheat, I don’t think they would have won. Plus, more information has been spilling out about all of this deflate-gate and the NFL has not made a verdict yet, but everyone keeps claiming they did. That kid that went into the bathroom for 98 seconds? I think it’s safe to say he was peeing, or pooping….poor kid.

Anyways, enough about that. I feel like the commercials get worse every year. Probably because everyone is so hyper sensitive to everything that they can’t come up with any more commercials without it offending anybody. But I must say, they were all extremely depressing. Even the ones that were funny are under fire! Apparently there’s a petition going around to get rid of that one with Ron Swanson and the gluten-free joke. The guy who started the petition claims that it was because he didn’t want kids to be made fun of for being different. Bullying must have really changed since I went to school. I don’t recall kids bullying those who are gluten-free just because they are gluten-free. I hardly even notice if someone is gluten-free unless they bring it up, let alone a bunch of kids. Most of them probably don’t even know what it is considering I didn’t until I started waitressing at the age of nineteen. And that wasn’t even the most memorable commercial of the evening. For me, it was the insurance commercial with the little boy who breaks your heart when he tells you he has died. Why why why? Why depress everyone while the whole country, and maybe even the world, is watching? Nonsense.

We attended the fan fest with the activities and you could walk around holding a beer which weirded me out, but we did it anyway. I ran to the bathroom at one point, and Sam stood in the street waiting for me. He was wearing his Patriots hat and Brady jersey, and has a full blown beard going on. Some kid ran up to him and asked, “Are you Tom Brady?” Sam was extremely flattered, and was just reminded that he does not play in the NFL or have a supermodel wife with perfect children. The funny part is that the kid actually thought Tom Brady grew a full beard in a couple of hours, and was in the middle of the fan fest in downtown Phoenix wearing his own jersey. Bless his heart.

We found a bar that was filled with Pats fans which was refreshing since before, we were surrounded by Seahawks fans that whole weekend. I finally started to understand football! Just by listening to the clapping and “hurrays” and then the “nays” during each play, I can now follow it, at least, a little bit. There were plenty of times when I completely zoned out. And the Nachos…The Nachos. The most delicious melted cheese in the world. Even though I spent a good portion of my day on a bar stool eating crap and drinking beer, it didn’t feel like an entire day.

Our drive home yesterday was interesting. We were making perfect timing until we hit close to Palm Springs and we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. This is the 10, where most people drive about 85 mph because it’s such a straight shot through the desert. It felt like we were in a twilight zone in that kind of traffic. Sam looked it up on his phone and found out a major crash happened involving a truck hauling frozen chickens, and a truck hauling bees. BEES. Just a truck carrying a load of bees. It took us two hours just to drive 3.5 miles. And the closer we got, the more bees started to show up out of nowhere poking into my windshield. We rolled up our windows and I noticed some of the other cars hadn’t. I just pictured us getting right up to the crash and a swarm of bees attacking them in the middle of traffic, and how I would have laughed. At least we had a nice view.

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I hope you all had a great time watching the Superbowl!

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