Humor, Out of the Ordinary, Things I Should Have Solved A Year Ago

Balanced Guru – aka The Love Guru

This isn’t typically a beauty blog, and I don’t usually post about products and/or makeup because honestly, I’m STILL learning how to put on make-up. I’m 24….

My sister taught me at a young age because she is seven years older and was going through cosmetology school. Therefore, I was her dummy throughout middle school. Yet the make-up tutorials did not stick for me and I still have issues figuring out what my skin tone is, and even though I’ve been applying liquid eyeliner for about four years, I screw it up every time.

My biggest issue is my hair. Probably ever since sixth grade, I’ve been trying to master beachy waves and it fails every time.

Yes.

Yes.

YES.

YES.

OH MY LORD YES.

OH MY LORD YES.

I’ve tried every product on the market to give myself the waves. That Garnier Beach Waves Mousse LIES. After the first few tries, it sat in my cabinet for years and years before I finally threw it out.

I’ve looked up tutorials on Pinterest and we all know how those work out…

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3 Easy Steps! Curl your hair with a curling iron. Comb out with your fingers. Bat your eyelashes in the mirror and you’re good to go! If you can’t master this, you’re probably a dumbass.

Yeah, those steps don’t work out so hot for little lasses like myself. I went to a friends wedding on Sunday and I curled my hair with a curling iron 4 times and it was still straight. Yet, when I go to the salon, it is perfectly curled and luscious. I just want to take my hair stylist, stick her in my pocket, and carry her around in case of hair emergencies.

I’ve recently signed up for the Ipsy Glam Bag. If you’ve never heard of it, I highly suggest doing it. It’s similar to Birch Box, but possibly cheaper. With Ipsy, you pay $10 a month and get a cosmetics bag with five make-up items inside. You have to take a short beauty quiz so that they know what kind of make-up you’re looking for before they send you the products. Typically, they are products you may have never heard of. But for $10, you’re getting approximately $40 worth of makeup with a bag. Sounds pretty damn good to me. Anyways, long story short, I received the gift of all gifts.

The Balanced Guru

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Balanced Guru Farm-A-Ceuticals

I mean, I know I took a quiz and everything, but whoever thought, “This girl Jessie will probably love this!” is my new guardian angel. The ends of my hair have been really dry lately so I happily tossed this oil into my hair last night after my shower like I was preparing a salad. I figured it was just going to soften up my dried, frizzled up ends but to my surprise, I woke up this morning as if I just slept on a beach in Hawaii under the bright glow of the moon.

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I immediately began prancing around my living room this morning, flipping my hair around like I made up that song, “I whip my hair back and forth.” I’m feeling fierce and wonderful on this Friday and I give a huge round of applause to my very first Ipsy bag. I think this has now turned into an obsession. My beach waves may not be 100% perfect, but they are a hell of a lot better than before.

I decided to write this post because I’m sure there are thousands of other unfortunate ladies like myself who can’t seem to get their beachy waves hairstyle together. I’ve suffered 10 years with this anti-beach hair illness, and I don’t want you to go through the same thing. If it doesn’t work for you, you are more than welcome to send me a box of leeches as punishment.

If you’re interested in Ipsy, use my referral! https://www.ipsy.com/new?refer=u4ise

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8 thoughts on “Balanced Guru – aka The Love Guru

  1. Pingback: Finding Your Color | You're Fine

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