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The Fundamental Dynamics Of All Things Ridiculous Portrayed in Pretty Little Liars – Featuring Alanna from White Girls Be Like…

***Contains Spoilers. If you don’t give a hoot, then go ahead and keep reading.

Alanna and I started discussing Pretty Little Liars. Since the new Season 6 premiers tonight, we thought we’d get in the PLL spirit. It’s rare to come across a fellow specimen who enjoys Pretty Little Liars every Tuesday night. As much as we love the show, its intensity and mystery behind every episode, we also can’t help but make fun of it. Of course, this isn’t a show that someone can just relate to. A group of high school girls being stalked by an unknown masked human being dressed in all black who manipulate, control, and harass them on a daily basis following the murder of their best friend. It’s not everyday a story like this is on national news. I don’t doubt that something like this could happen. I mean, come on. We have wifi. And people have walked on the moon.

We want to just throw out the ridiculous, and unrealistic qualities of the show that drive us crazy. We both think alike because as soon as we found out who A (crazy stalker) is, yet we didn’t know because it was a name never mentioned before, we had to watch the series from the beginning again.

First off,

THIS.

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Aria, Hanna, Spencer, Emily

J: My wardrobe at the age of sixteen consisted of jeans and a sweatshirt.

A: There are no words. They put us all to shame. Although I don’t see how their parents are going to afford college considering the major ducats being dropped on their clothing.

J: To be honest, I wish I looked like this in high school. Hell, I wish I looked like this now.

Their “formals” are treated like proms…and it’s when all the crazy A shit happens.

Ezra, Aria, Paige, Emily, Hanna, Caleb, Spencer

Ezra, Aria, Paige, Emily, Hanna, Caleb, Spencer

J: How much money does their public school have because their glowing floors and crystal ice sculptures are totally B.S.

A: Their dances and general school functions make me want to “Blue-Skadoo” into the tv. I actually get kind of angry at my high school for being so weak. My prom was like a crack den compared to their most laid-back school dance.

J: My prom was located behind a UHaul. You literally couldn’t see the front entrance from the street….Dear Paige, John Travolta called. He wants his Saturday Night Fever tux back.

john-travolta-saturday-night-fever-325-par

 A: HAHAHAHA right though? Her clothing makes me wanna yell at her for perpetuating stereotypes.

Rosewood, PA

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The quaint little town of Rosewood, population less than 8,000 residents depicts the small town life where everyone knows everything about everybody. We can only assume they are close to Philly and Harrisburg, considering a few episodes show them fleeing off to Philly for a day.

A: As far as their socioeconomic status, I find it a little hard to believe that everyone in that town is upper middle class because that part of PA is known for extreme wealth and poverty coexisting in the same place. Probably the most honest thing about Rosewood is the way everyone is kind of a dick and trying to get one over on everyone else.

J: I think what bugs me about this town the most is that the town I grew up in is supposedly smaller than Rosewood. Perhaps I was just oblivious, but we didn’t know everything about everyone.

A: Where I grew up, there were a lot of people on that income level where the girls seem to exist, and it was like everything anyone did was for status or to one up another family or person. News traveled super fast and if you weren’t “perfect” people looked down on you. Other than the weather always being perfect, it’s a pretty accurate assessment.

J: Yeah, why doesn’t it ever snow in PA? The weather is constantly nice all year round. And the fact that the first two seasons are supposed to be a span of one year is what throws me off. There are no changes in season. So much happens in the first two seasons that I find it hard to believe it all happens in a span of two months. Come on, Marlene King (director/writer).

Aria & Ezra

lThe first scandalous relationship on PLL…the great Ezria. Ezra Fitz, the hot high school English Teacher who is approximately 23-years-old hooks up with student Aria. Considering Rosewood is a town where everyone seems to know everything, how come nobody noticed Aria and Ezra?

A: They even acknowledge that “rumors” were floating around about him doing it with a student. I don’t know what century they’re pretending to be in but today even the smallest inkling of something like that would be investigated at least a little bit.

J: The day he left Rosewood High as a teacher, she booked it in the parking lot and started making out with him. You can see the school busses lined up! Just because he’s no longer a Rosewood teacher doesn’t mean he couldn’t still get arrested….

sss

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A: Plus I find it hard to believe no one ever saw Aria going into his apartment building or hanging out in his classroom too much.

J: This is not your average 23-year-old post grad. The guy drinks scotch, from a glass, neat. He’s like an old man at heart.

anchorman-scotch

A: Ezra will just like openly drink his scotch NEAT of all things right in front of Aria. I actually thought about how if I was her age, I’d probably be like, “Can I have some too?” and then get all wasted haha. We get that he’s rich and all but most guys in their early 20’s wouldn’t be drinking fancy scotch in a fancy tumbler with no ice. Nonsense.

J: What happened to the guys shot gunning beers in bath tubs, and being all rude and obnoxious and crying over post-grad life? Ezra is not real. I also cannot accept the fact that Ezra knew who Aria was before they hooked up. He literally hunted a 16 year old girl but we are all supposed to be like, “They fell in love! It’s sweet.” No.

Finding out who A is

Season 5 just ended back in March, and everyone is still talking about the Big A reveal. Many viewers around the world have been devoted to this show since it premiered back in 2010, and we’ve all been waiting very patiently to find out who A is. We feel as though A has been stalking our own lives for crying out loud. Between the text messages, the scandals, finding out Alison DiLaurentis was not actually murdered but faked it in order to get away from A…it’s all been very emotional. And then we found out.

It’s Charles. And naturally, this was everyones reaction.

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Everyone has been tossing around their theories and I’ve read everything from Ezra, Andrew (Aria’s new love interest), Jason DiLaurentis secretly has a twin brother, and even one of the girls being A.

A: Personally, I think that the real “A” who is like King and/or Queen Shit of the team and started all this is some random person we’ll never guess. Like, there’s clearly a genius/serial killer in charge of all this and Alison’s story still doesn’t fully round out for me. The resources this person has is on the level of like Homeland Security and the NSA and Bill Gates all rolled into one.

J: It better be someone good because honestly, if this is a grown middle-aged adult, they need some serious therapy if they are spending their free time messing with teenage girls just for the hell of it.

A: Also, if it turned out to be Ezra at the end, I would love/hate that so much.

J: I agree, I would be happy if it’s actually Ezra because that makes a hell of a lot more sense than him just being a gross creep.

Thanks for checking in and reading up on PLL. If this post meant absolutely nothing to you and you had no clue what on earth we were ranting about, you are still a devoted reader and we love you for that.

Let us know what you think of the premier tonight. We look forward to the live tweets!

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8 thoughts on “The Fundamental Dynamics Of All Things Ridiculous Portrayed in Pretty Little Liars – Featuring Alanna from White Girls Be Like…

  1. I know nothing about this show other than the fact that my daughter loves it. Geez, I feel old now…

    But it’s always amazed me how movies portray high school, especially the proms. They are always lavish affairs with live bands and a decorating budget of at least $10K. IRL, we got a DJ and a few paper streamers hanging from the gym ceiling. Not quite the same thing…

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s all lies. I’ve noticed in movies they always seem to have so much downtime lounging around in the halls and courtyard…I barely had time to grab a muffin in the morning.

      Like

  2. Pingback: Five Years FAUXword | You're Fine

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