Awkward, California, Humor, Rant, Travel, You're Fine

View From The Bottom

Any of you who have seen Fast and Furious 7…do you remember this scene?

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I remember thinking, No, there’s no way. Where on earth could they be? No smog? How is this possible? Where is all that traffic? Where is this view of Los Angeles that seems so majestic and surreal? WHERE?!

Well guys…I found it. And it’s at Dodgers Stadium.

LA

It was a huge slap to the forehead and I yelled, “OHHHH! So that’s where they were!” So if you are ever in the LA area and you want to pose like Vin Diesel with your car, go there.

I don’t know what it is with baseball stadiums, but I have the hardest time buying alcohol. Probably because every sporting event I’ve gone to in the Boston area, you need your ID, passport, social security card, birth certificate and a doctor’s note just to buy alcohol. Therefore, no matter what sporting event I go to, I FEEL like I’m lying to the cashier when I hand them my ID. I start shaking, awkwardly laughing, and not making eye contact. And the people working at these sporting events just start laughing when I ask for a Bud Light.

“Ahahhahah there’s no way. Lemme see that shit.” I hand them my ID and they’re like, “Nah shorty…that looks nothing like you. You’re 12.”

My entire life I’ve had people say, “You’re going to love it when you’re in your forties.”

Well…I’m not in my forties. And I don’t love it right now. I bet you wouldn’t like it if anxiety just washed over you with fear that they are going to cut up your ID even though it’s real every single time you want to drink a beer. Let me drink my beer in peace please!

I don’t necessarily get this kind of reaction when I go to basketball games, but it’s always a baseball game for some reason. I walk by a group of people with a beer in hand and an older lady will lean in and say,  “Um, sweetheart. How old are you?” I know she thinks she’s caught me red-handed until I tell her my actual age and then she feels silly, and I feel silly for her.

I must reiterate to the world…I pay my own bills. I have a college degree, I pay rent, and I buy my own groceries. I even have a credit card! And no, I’m not in high school so when you see me running to the bank in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday, it’s not that weird.

(insert gasps)

Other than this issue with buying beer, I love baseball games. Sam has a goal to see every baseball stadium and he’s about a third of the way there and I’m happy to attend. I mean, this view…

dodger

My 5’1” view isn’t so bad all the time.

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