Humor, Internet Things, Out of the Ordinary

Search terms are cool, but have you seen the spam folder?

We’ve all glanced through the search terms, wondering how some people in this massive world come across our blogs. I’ve had “Smack that booty” and I’m still trying to figure out how my blog popped up out of nowhere.

For the first time, I really started reading the comments in the spam folder. I usually just delete them because they are advertisements basically saying, “Hey! Your blog kind of blows so here is a link where I can help you make it way better!”

But some of these comments sounded like drunk conversations at a bar. When you run into a girl in the bathroom and they’re like, “Do you love Conan O’Brien?” And you’re like, “Hell yes I do. And I’d have his ginger babies right now.” And then she’d say, “Like OMG, me too. I also really like Cheez-Its.” And then you’d glow with excitement because you too, love Cheez-Its and you’d tell her how awesome it is to get a surprise bag of Cheez-Its on an airplane and then before you know it, you are best friends in a matter of thirty seconds while washing your hands and reapplying lip gloss. And men always wonder how we make so many friends in a bar. You exchange numbers and then weeks later you see them walking down the street…

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(Source)

Ten years later, you finally delete the damn number from your phone.

I’ve gotten slightly off topic here, so let me just show you some of the spam comments I received, all of which were under my post from March, How To Accidentally Sign Up For a Marathon.

but I discovered a use for the best Portugese China coffee cup that was white by it as being a cachepot.”

I picture this person as being your DIY friend by trying to give her creative crafty tips during a moment when everyone is too drunk to care.

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You will get also, taste and more elegance, don’t burn the skin while smoking, pipes are a little bit costly.”

This is your old timer friend who wears knit cardigans with the elbow patches and talks about how his favorite novelist is Thomas Hardy while he sips on scotch and during his down time, drinks chamomile tea and grooms his cat.

200

What a total waste of time and money.”

I cracked up on this one because the timing and the content about me raising money and running a marathon was just too good that it can’t be a coincidence. Therefore, this is your friend who turns into an asshole when they’re drunk. We all have one.

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Share some of your hilariously ridiculous spam comments that made your day!

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9 thoughts on “Search terms are cool, but have you seen the spam folder?

  1. This was hilarious. Especially when you mentioned elbow patches. This is one spam message I have: “A lot of writing xx to much xx. Ha ha”. What are they even doing reading blogs?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, I just had to go check my spam folder as I remember getting some good ones in the past. Like this: ” Tall women, dating short men, is it possible? It can be daunting if the person of your dreams is taller than you. However, fret not, tall women are also humans and they look for other qualities too.”

    Who knew? Tall women are humans too! The weirdest part is that the link address was ‘Ancient secrets of kings”. It’s all weird. My favorites are seriously the search terms. They are so crude and bizarre and vulgar. They make me literally laugh out loud. There’s a lot of people wanting to put things up their butt. Or the butts of others. I really had no idea until I started by blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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