Every year, I find something that really grinds my gears, but some things just take the cake.
These are my issues this year that make me want to punch others in the face:
1. Stating your baby’s age in months
This is totally fine if your baby isn’t one yet. But once you finally have that gigantic first birthday and you watch them shove a fistful of frosting into their mouth for the first time, it can stop.
Your baby is not 26 months old. They’re two…..
2. Cutting lines
I haven’t had this issue since elementary school when we yelled “No cuts, not buts, no coconuts!” And when someone did cut, they were stamped as a cutter and a cheater for the rest of the day, which was our personal hell.
But I came across this issue last month with a grown adult in Petco. I stood in a long ass line, and when I finally got to the register, I requested a flea and tick treatment they had locked away. The cashier called for the woman with the keys and told me she will ring me up at the next register. So I waited and waited and waited. When she finally arrived, she got me the treatment and said she can take customers in the next line. I proceeded to follow until a grown man actually cut me off. CUT ME OFF. As if we were driving. Nearly ran me over. I felt the steam in my ears and I had to cool myself down before I made a huge mistake and screamed at him in the middle of Petco. So I gave him some sass and said “Oh sure, you can go…..” only he ignored me like the dick he is.
3. The Breastfeeding Debate
Please. Just…stop. Any and all arguments….just stop.
4. To Rescue a Dog or Go to a Pet Shop?
Just because someone bought their dog from a pet shop or Craig’s List does not make them a shitty person. Many people would absolutely LOVE to rescue a dog. I know I would. But have you taken a look at some of the applications for shelters and rescue organizations? They want to know when you took your last shit. Halfway through filling out a form and I already know they won’t call me back. I read an application the other day that asked what brand of fucking kibble I would feed my dog.
How about we discuss the actual dog part first?
Also…pet store dogs need homes too.
And lastly…I friggin’ know Pit Bulls have a rough time finding homes. But maybe, just MAYBE, they won’t fit my lifestyle. Please stop telling me what breed of dog I need to get because they are in need.
5. The Word “Ignorant”
That word is so redundant now. The amount of times I’ve read that word on social media is too much to count. Please expand your vocabulary when insulting strangers. I know you use the word to make yourself sound intelligent instead of just saying “You’re stupid” but it’s lost all meaning at this point.
6. The Whole Love-And-Praise-Your-Body-Because-We-Are-All-Different Attitude
The reason why I have a problem with this attitude is because we seem to now blame everyone else for feeling like crap. We blame social media, magazines, fashion designers, etc. for feeling overweight and uncomfortable in our own skin. There’s no one else to blame but yourself. It’s not Victoria’s Secret’s problem that you feel inferior because their models are drop dead gorgeous. Is it important to love who you are? Of course! But when I feel chunky, flabby, and weird some days, it’s no one’s fault but my own. We’re all human.