Awkward, News, Out of the Ordinary, Rant, You're Fine

Free The What…?

My hometown is going through something strange. The “Free The Nipple” campaign made their way to Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. Basically, a bunch of women showed up at the beach topless, to make a stand that if men can go topless, so can women. 200

I’m not going to lie here and say that the United States isn’t a prude country. We totally are. We have a few sin cities for our ungodly pleasure such as Las Vegas and New Orleans, but for the most part, we are incredibly prude. Yet at the same time, we are teaching sex-ed as early as third grade, or so I’ve heard. So, we are also an insanely confused country.

In my opinion, Susan B. Anthony is rolling over in her grave right now.


Is this really what women are bitching about these days? That they can’t go topless on a beach but men can? I’m still struggling to wrap my mind around sex trafficking, domestic abuse, and sexual harassment. Pardon me but, I’ve never had much of a desire to parade around half naked on a beach that isn’t a “nude beach”. I mean, that is what they are for right? To be nude. Also, if you hated being gawked at before, you’re in for a rude awakening.

This all started because apparently women were being cussed at for breast feeding their child. Now, there is always more to the story than this. Some women are very subtle in their breast feeding. They have many options for breastfeeding too. You have the bra that clips open and you can just slip the baby right on in there. You have the light shawl/cover up. I’ve heard some women have a double t-shirt maneuver that works well for them. Some women pump their milk into bottles when they are on-the-go. Some make their way to the bathroom or a fitting room. And some even have schedules. Yes, there is such a thing as putting your baby on a schedule. Does the schedule work out 100% of the time? No, of course not. But I’ve known a fair share of mothers and every single one of them had a fixed schedule. If they wanted to go shopping, they’d make sure the baby didn’t take their morning nap so that they’d sleep during the adventure, and they were well fed before leaving the house.

I know there are a gazillion other ways to breastfeed your baby discreetly. So, if you’re claiming that NONE of these tactics work, then it’s you. It baffles me that either way, anyone would bitch about a woman feeding their child, but did the woman walk around waiting for her baby to latch on with her breast hanging out for 30 minutes? I don’t know. Or did she chase her child around a busy bakery with her breasts hanging out to catch the child in order to feed them? Who knows. All we hear is, “I was yelled at for feeding my baby.” There is always way more to the story than that.

P.S. If your child is running around, it’s time to put away the boob.


So, this “Free The Nipple” campaign is to “de-criminalize” the boob. Unless you’ve been arrested for breastfeeding your child, which I highly doubt, then the boob is not being “criminalized”. They also want to “de-sexualize” the boob, which to me, is an unrealistic goal. Should women be yelled at for breastfeeding? Absolutely not. Should they be yelled at for walking around topless in a public area? Yes.

I’m not in any way “offended” by this campaign. There are nude beaches in America. There are nudist colonies in America. You want to walk around topless, do it in a place that allows you to do so. Hell, you probably got it out of your system during your Spring Break vacation.

Here’s a thought: When we go to the beach with men, and they are shirtless, are you checking them out?


Yes. Yes you are.

Which means you are sexualizing men.

If you go to the beach topless, you really don’t expect men to check you out even more now? It’s a bit hypocritical if you ask me. I’ve read comments like, “Well, I don’t want to see your gross manboobs but I’m forced to look at those!”

Honey, you just fat shamed a stranger. Way to go, proving my point of hypocrisy.

Since health class, we have always been taught what our private parts are, and their functions. All of our private parts pretty much have to do with making a baby. So since we should “normalize” the breasts because they feed our beautiful babies, let’s just all walk around naked because both men and women make babies. Can you smell the sarcasm? I hope so.

If a man stared at me while breastfeeding my future kid, sure I’d be weirded out, but there have been worse scenarios to deal with. It’s called life.

I consider myself a feminist. But it’s nonsense like this that makes others look at the feminist movement with confusion. My argument can easily be argued that it’s hypocritical for a man to walk around topless and women can’t, and at the end of the day, we are all sexualizing each other. And you’re right. But we live in a very hypocritical world. Personally I believe there are other more important situations to deal with than wanting to go topless on a beach.

I hope you are all feeling very “oppressed” today for having to a wear a fun, neon colored piece of cloth around your chest.



3 thoughts on “Free The What…?

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