FYI – This post has been sitting in my drafts for six months. I’m unsure why it hasn’t made an appearance yet but I’m still mulling over the emojis.
I don’t know too many people who are active emoji users on Facebook. The only people I know who seem to use them quite often are my grandma and aunt. When used, I’m left with unanswered questions. For instance, who came up with these god awful emojis? How and why did Mark Zuckerburg hire them to design these icons?
The Crying Monkey
This is a monkey. He seems to have this weird white fungus spilling out of his eyes, which is something I’d be pretty upset about too. All the kids at school make fun of him, which is why he’s under the sad category. This is to raise awareness of bullying everywhere.
The Sleeping Plant
This plant is sleeping. I didn’t realize plants slept. Do they really? Is this a new scientific study that plants take a quick break from their slurping of dirty, muddy water and take a snooze? No growing today fellas. Must recharge.
This working class citizen has clearly turned into a zombie. I wonder if he will be a new character in The Walking Dead. He fits the part perfectly with those grotesque lifeless eyes, chunky blue hair and scowl.
Baby Chick Named “Sunny Side Up”
This depicts a baby chick that has clearly taken a wrong turn in life. She’s now become a sensual prostitute and is offering a glass of luscious wine to take the ease off. You’re her Richard Geer.
Angry Zombie Part Two
So, the kids at school pulled a Carrie on this guy. They covered him in hot pink paint while he was auditioning for the talent show singing “Sometimes When We Touch”. He later made out with a tree.
The Clinging Coach
Student-teacher relationship. ‘Nuff said.
Ya’ll remember Salad Fingers? You would be left confused as well.
This is an accurate portrayal of how I eat pizza.
A half-ham half-cat would make a great Nickelodeon show. And he even has a best friend: a gravy boat, though I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be a watering tin.
I just don’t…get it.