Humor, Manic Monday, Out of the Ordinary

Irrational Fears

Each of us have experienced fears as a kid. Some of those fears crept into our adulthood. We consider them irrational, but we all know they are totally rational because if you’re not freaked out by any of these, there is something wrong with you.

1. Little People

NO. Not midgets. I’m talking gremlin, oompa loompa little people.

wonka-oompa-shotI sat in bed one afternoon to take a nap and I literally imagined a small, gremlin-like person walked around my bed to my face and just stared at me. Nothing else. Just staring. Who wouldn’t be terrified about that? I didn’t even dream this. It was an actual random thought in the middle of the afternoon….

2. The Closet

If my closet is even open just a crack, HELL NO. Because this is in there:



3. The Dark

When you hear a creepy noise in the kitchen in the middle of the night, please tell me you at least turn a light on. I can’t stand it in movies when the guy goes to check out the house and he doesn’t turn one damn light on. First, how are you supposed to see and “check things out”? Secondly, 95% of the time you’re dead.

But of course, movies like The Strangers ruined it anyway…


4. Insects Making a Home Inside My Body

If I’m wearing a dress or skirt, I cannot sit in the grass. I’m convinced ants will make their way up my leg, inside my underwear, and I’m sure you know the rest…


5. Roller Coasters

I always have, “Never have I ever been on a roller coaster” in the back of my pocket when I play the game. It’s a game changer for most. I refuse to go on a roller coaster. Go ahead. Judge me. Sam and I went to Santa Monica Pier a few months ago, and he so badly wanted to deflower my roller coaster experience. There is a small, yet in my eyes, a huge, roller coaster on the pier that looks like it was built 200 years ago, all rusty and squeaky. It may not have gone very fast but the last thing I want to die from is a roller coaster.


6. Space

I know for a fact that I will never go to space. Even if the world was about to explode in a babillionfafillion pieces, and the government built these spaceships to evacuate the entire population from earth, I still don’t think I would go. Have you ever seen the movie Gravity? If not, here’s a spoiler alert! That part when George Clooney sacrifices himself and unclips his damn space suit or whatever from Sandra Bullock and he goes off, flying and twirling into nothingness, I could cry just thinking about it. Not because I liked his character, but the very idea of just twirling around in space with nowhere to go, just a slow and endless darkness of planets, stars, and giant rocks hurling your way until you run out of oxygen and die. And then I think, are there dead bodies just floating around in space? I don’t know. But I feel like there is something crawling out of my skin every time I think about it.


7. The Very Idea That I Could Do Something So Irrational That Will Change The Course Of My Life

Here’s an example: I’m completely terrified of heights. I can’t even climb a miniature ladder just to get something off of a shelf, which sucks because I’m ridiculously short. Anyways, the horrifying thought has crossed my mind when I’m on a balcony or on top of a very tall building, and I look down and think, “If I jump off of here, I’ll be dead. For sure.” Like, what the hell is wrong with me? I know that I am not going to jump, and I will do everything in my power to stay away from the edges but just the idea that something in my brain could just click on and I’ll go nuts and be like, “Okay, it’s time!” It’s probably the most irrational fear I have, period.

You would think I would be more scared about someone pushing me rather than me making the decision.


What are some of your irrational fears?


20 thoughts on “Irrational Fears

  1. Tidal Waves. /sigh I have no good reason to fear tidal waves. I mean, I live in *Ohio*, not like there’s much chance of a tidal wave getting me here. But, still.. *Shudders* Also definitely the Closet and the Dark. Gyargh. Oh..and dolls. I watched Chucky when I was younger and it scared the bejeebies outta me. I tied all my dolls to their chairs, and that wasn’t enough. SO then I put them in a garbage bag. That wasn’t enough. SO then I put them in the closet, in the garbage bag, still tied to the chairs, and put a large chair up against the closet door.

    I was finally able to sleep that night.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a fear of the dark as well but I don’t call that irrational. The dark is scary!

    I do have an irrational fear of the ocean. I’ll go swimming in the ocean and I’ll go on a boat but I have this irrational fear of being stranded in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight and then I just see a fin. That is the scariest thought in the world to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sitting here in broad daylight and I have the heebie-jeebies after reading this…I feel like something is on me….*shudder*
    I get most of these, especially space…even though I am obsessed with it. I am both awed and terrified of films like Interstellar and Gravity.
    I can’t go on rollercoasters since I’m a total nerd and have vertigo. Basically, anything high and fast makes my brain go funny…funnier.
    Now I’m going to go hide under my duvet.

    Liked by 1 person

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