Awkward, Family, Humor, Movies, My Idea Of Being An Adult

Disney Kept It Real

Now that I’m watching over a six-month-old baby, I’ve been re-watching a lot of Disney movies, thanks to Netflix. Some of these movies I used to watch over and over again when I was a kid, and others I only had seen a couple of times twenty years ago. Since I’ve been watching these Disney movies with fresh, adult eyes, I’m now aware of how oblivious I was as a kid, and how parents these days need to relax just a little bit. There were so many superbly inappropriate things that happened in these Disney movies that I either 1. paid no attention to, and 2. never understood in the first place because I was six. Here are some examples of the somewhat creepy, morbid, and painfully terrible things that were said or suggested in these Disney movies.

1. Pocahontas

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In the very beginning of the movie, when the “Pioneers” or “Pilgrims”, or whatever the hell you want to call them are singing merrily while preparing the ship out to the New World, this guy:

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Thomas, brags about how much gold he’s going to find. Then he says, “And if an Indian gets in my way, I’ll blast ’em!”

That is no joke. You don’t believe me? Watch the first three minutes of the movie and you’ll be rolling on the floor either laughing or crying because everything you thought about Pocahontas is suddenly rushing away from you. Of course, as a kid, I paid no mind to the dialogue. I didn’t know what they were saying half of the time. So to think that any six-year-old will have any clue that some British man plans on shooting bullet holes into Indians if they try to snatch their gold is a bit ludicrous. Subtle, yet brilliant Disney. Keepin’ it real.

2. Mulan

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There was a brief sexist moment in this movie that was so on point. In fact, I can’t believe I never thought twice about it, no matter how old I was when I watched this movie on repeat. In my opinion, the number one feminist in Disney is Mulan, so naturally there are going to be a lot of sexist qualities but it makes sense with the time period and story. In the scene when her father is being summoned to go to war and Mulan interrupts, this guy:

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tells her father that he needs to teach Mulan to “hold her tongue while in a man’s presence.” Whoa now. Whoa.

3. The Hunchback of Notre Dame

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There was a scene in this movie that gave a total rapey vibe. Seems unbelievable right? When Esmeralda meets Frollo for the first time, he does a little hair sniffing and she’s totally creeped out by it. He says, “I’m imagining a rope around that beautiful neck,” or something of that nature. She pushes him away and says, “I know what you were imagining!”

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Call me crazy, but was that forced sexual tension? EW.

4. Tarzan

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Not only are Tarzan’s parents murdered by a leopard, but the death scene of John Clayton was a bit brutal. He gets all tangled up in the vines and starts chopping them with his very large knife until suddenly, POW:

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death by accidental hanging. How did this not scare me as a child?

These are only just a few movies that I’ve noticed over the past few weeks. Feel free to point out any adult-like content that you’ve noticed in Disney movies recently! And leave out the subliminal messages stuff: what normal person even notices that?

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10 thoughts on “Disney Kept It Real

  1. The one that shocked me when going back to watch it was Pinocchio. Pinocchio not only smokes a cigar, but there is some swearing in it(I think it was jackass and it was explaining what a donkey is called, but still. Can you imagine either of those in a Disney flick today?) The whole island of misfits I think was very non PC too.

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    • What’s funny is that all of these fairy tales are actually really screwed up, but Disney just makes it innocent…sort of. Another Mulan moment was when they found out she was a girl after she was injured cause they saw her boobs. But I guess you have no other way of finding out right?

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      • Of course not. Though if someone wants to hide if they are female or male there are pretty good ways of doing it. But yeah, Disney is pretty sneaky when it comes to being pretty un PC. It just made me think about in Little Mermaid when Ursula was talking to Ariel about the importance of body language and how its the only way to get a man without a voice and how they don’t like girls that talk anyways, etc.

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      • Hah! I forgot about that! I saw something recently about how Ariel is able to sign her name on the contract and read it over, yet she didn’t think to write anything to Prince Eric like, “Hey, what’s a fork?”

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  2. Sherri Nevers Reyna says:

    Watch Dumbo and Song of the South and you will be floored by the blatant racism. But you also have to put them into cultural societal context of the time they were made. Like Gone with the Wind. It was written in a different time. Disney put just enough historical context to keep it “real” like you said….too much and they would be painful to watch and not at all entertaining. Most animated movies and shows have some kind of adult language or humor and, you are right, most kids totally miss it which is just as it should be. That’s why adults enjoy watching them too. Heck, I loved Rugrats! There was a TON of adult humor in that show.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Or how about in Hunchback when Frollo sings that whole song basically saying Esmerelda would either have to give herself to him or burn at the stake?? Totally horrifying!

    You know I love Disney so I loved this haha I could go all day!

    Liked by 1 person

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