The BIG 2-5 is arriving tomorrow and I’ve been thinking about all of the birthday themes I wish I had growing up. I’ve had some wonderful birthday parties filled with sleepovers, freezing the first friend to fall asleep’s bra, applying toothpaste to unsuspecting sleepers fingers, telling ghost stories, and watching Shane West be all romantic in A Walk To Remember while sobbing in a pile of cake and popcorn. And almost every year, I requested a strawberry cake with strawberry frosting and strawberries on top. You can most certainly guess what kind of cake I requested for this weekend.
But now that I’m officially in my mid-twenties, I’m reminiscing on all of the themes I’ve missed out on.
1. Name That 90’s Boy
Every face, poster, and game would relate to our favorite 90’s boys. I’m lookin’ at you Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Rider Strong, and baby faced Leonardo DiCaprio.
We can play Pin-The-Abs-On-The-Leo. It will be fun.
2. Circa 2004
Ever since I saw that Gilmore Girls episode where they had a birthday party 2002-theme, I’ve wanted to just pick a year and see what people come up with. We can all wear Lance Armstrong bracelets, reenact anything Paris Hilton said and/or did, and bring back the American Eagle jean skirt.
3. Asian Cuisine
Endless amount of sushi, crab rangoon, and fried rice. Yes, please.
4. Michael Scott
If I could have someone who likes like Michael Scott, talks like Michael Scott, and loves like Michael Scott, I’d like to have that person just follow me around the entire day. And then end the night with Jim Halpert.
5. Dress As Your Favorite 90’s Nickelodeon Character
Please, please, please, show up to my fictional party dressed as Patty Mayonnaise, or Amanda Bynes and her dancing lobsters.
6. Teen Witch
I basically just want to learn the routines of those three dudes who are constantly jamming out on the street in that epic 1989 film. Top that!
7. Murder Mystery
Who murdered the birthday girl? While you all figure that crap out, I’ll be hiding somewhere drinking whiskey straight from the bottle waiting to see how long it takes you fools to find the fiend. I also request that you talk like a 1950’s Hollywood actress. Marilyn-Monroe it all the way.
8. Dress As Your Favorite Cary Grant Movie
He was in everything between 1940 and 1966, so you shouldn’t have a problem choosing a movie. His Girl Friday, An Affair To Remember, That Touch of Mink. The many faces of Cary Grant.
9. Offensive Party
All the rules can go out the door. Dress up as something so terrible you can’t sleep at night. If you need references, just play a round of Cards Against Humanity.
I hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend!