Girls, Humor, I'm not a mommy blogger, Out of the Ordinary, Rant, Social Media

How Does She Pee?

I’m not really up with the times when it comes to the Kardashian’s. I don’t watch the show, except for that one time when nothing else was on and Kourtney admitted to taking like, 30 pregnancy tests and she was only 95% sure she was pregnant.

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I was at the gym the other night, just minding my own business, trying to break a sweat, when I saw Kim Kardashian blow up the TV in front of me, and she was wearing this:

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I can never understand why the Kardashian’s are considered the “fashion forward” celebs these days. First of all, is this a highly intensified jumper/romper? Are those boots ATTACHED to her outfit? If so, how the hell does this woman pee?

I ask this because I recently wore a jumpsuit/romper to work a couple of weeks ago. I got many compliments, but it didn’t change the fact that it was such a bitch to go to the bathroom in.

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I don’t know about everyone else, but my mind has the tendency to screw with me. For instance, I’m driving home from work:

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I catch a glimpse of my street corner and suddenly a wave hits me. I REALLY NEED TO PEE. I was perfectly fine about three seconds ago up until now. I speed into my parking lot like I’m training for the Olympics, grab the twenty items from my car and wonder why I have so much stuff with me and how I don’t recall bringing all of this to work, jingle my keys around to find the one that opens the door to the building, fish for my mail because I’m too lazy to come back downstairs to get it, jingle with my keys again to find the key that opens my apartment, bust in through the door, chuck everything in my hands on the floor and fly to the bathroom like Superwoman. Now add a romper to the mix and you might as well pee your pants because you’re never getting that shit off.

How long did it take Kim Kardashian to put her boots on? Especially if it’s attached to her outfit? I can just picture myself trying to carefully slip my entire leg into those babies, and my toes getting tangled up in the web of string. I’d never get those things on. But I have to hand it to her, that’s commitment to her shoes right there. Once you get those things on, you’re wearing them all day. I’ll buy heels and take them off 30 minutes into wearing them because I’m lame. Since it takes so much effort to put those boots on, I wouldn’t want to take them off either.

In conclusion, I’m convinced Kim Kardashian is not a real human, but a fembot. Yes, I said fembot.

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The woman doesn’t pee, and she wears ridiculously high heeled boots that take longer to tie together than it was to write War and Peace. 

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15 thoughts on “How Does She Pee?

  1. Auntie Dy says:

    Lmao ! Good one !
    By the way , I heard on the radio just last night from John Tesh , that your needing to pee all of a sudden is now called trigger peeing . Kind of like pavlov’s dog .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Best blog title ever. I can’t stop staring at the lady in the red car in the background of the pic. Even she’s asking herself, “How does she pee?” To answer the question, she doesn’t. Someone else does it for her.

    Liked by 1 person

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