Anecdote, Humor, Internet Things

Answers to My Lies

I had three amazing participants in my 2 Truths and a Lie post and it was a close call for all of you.

I was a little shocked by your responses, so I’ll backlash a little bit. All of the false statements are in bold.


a) My first ever autograph from a celebrity was Shia LaBeouf’s.

b) I love jalapenos.

c) I’ve never been on a roller coaster before.

*I’ve been using the “never been on a roller coaster” line for YEARS because it always works. Only one of you guessed that option. Shia LaBeouf was in fact my first ever celebrity autograph. My mom had a friend who was the hair dresser on Even Stevens in Hollywood. Of course, I was like eight at the time and didn’t appreciate it and it was way before he got disgustingly famous and I lost it….

The fact that I hate jalapenos just proves that I’m the worst. Mexican. Ever.

Winner: Ben!


a) I was voted “Most Gullible” in my eight grade class superlatives.

b) My first job out of college was for a trash and recycling company.

c) I actually really enjoyed Kim Kardashian’s autobiography KIM.

*I’m a little appalled by Paul that he could possibly think that I enjoyed Kim Kardashian’s biography. Luckily, all three of you got the lie correct. I hated her autobiography. I stood in Barnes and Noble and did a monologue reading with my friends, while also laughing hysterically.


a) I casually saw Kate Flannery (aka, Meredith from The Office) in Seal Beach, California one Sunday afternoon.

b) I played a mime in my sixth grade school musical.

c) I went horseback riding in Texas once, and the horse stepped on my foot.

*YA GOT ME. All three of you picked C.


a) I accidentally killed the class gold fish in elementary school.

b) In sixth grade, I beat up a boy on the playground.

c) I’m terrified of clowns.

*Apparently most of you think I’m not capable of beating up a boy. Hardy-har-har. Granted, I did have some help from a few other girls but basically, it was four girls against one boy. In my defense, he was being a buttface.

Winner: 0


a) When I was two, my first dance recital ballet song was to Beauty and the Beast‘s “Be Our Guest”.

b) I have five birth marks.

c) I used to play Pocahontas with my grandpa, and I made him play John Smith.

*Most of you are correct. I have four birth marks.

Winner: Ben and Paul!

1st place: Bitter Ben (And you said you were bad at this) 4/5 correct

2nd place: Paul………………………………………………………….. 3/5 correct

3rd place: Joan 2/5 correct

Well Paul, you’ve won this personal battle. You got at least three answers correct while I got none. Til’ next time…because there will be a next time.

Paul – 1 Jess – 0


8 thoughts on “Answers to My Lies

  1. Excuse me while I celebrate like a Kardashian fan on Twitter/a kid in elementary school.


    I hate myself for that, slightly.

    Man, I remembered that blog post you wrote about being a class pet murderer so I didn’t think twice about it! As for the Shia Labeef one, I kinda thought that could’ve been true but I kinda just wanted a reason to mention Even Stevens. Also, my sister read the Kim K book so I thought it was possible other people enjoyed it too. You were a victim of circumstance when I made that statement lol.

    God I’m glad I won. We’ll think of another petty duel soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think I figured out that the short statements were generally a lie, because the true stuff you put a little detail while the lie you don’t really have them. But even that was kind of off. Oh well…


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