Books, Humor, Movies, Sarcasm

Breakdown of “Girl on the Train”

**This contains spoilers. If you intend to watch the movie or read the book, you best stop here mate.**

A long, long while back, I wrote a post that basically made fun of the movie Troy. I’m back again to do the same thing as it has been far too long. A few months ago I read Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins, and I devoured it in about three days. It’s a murder mystery book centered around a drunk named Rachel who may have  something to do with the disappearance of Megan Hipwell. I personally enjoyed the book, especially for someone who doesn’t typically read murder mysteries. What freaked me out the most was the fact that Megan Hipwell too closely resembled me, minus the promiscuity.


Some similarities between myself and Megan Hipwell:

  • She was an artist.
  • She had interests working in an art gallery.
  • She couldn’t find a job and resorted to being a nanny for a little while.
  • She was in a unhealthy relationship that contained lies, secrets, and spying.
  • Drunken Rachel doesn’t actually know Megan but only from a distance on the train as she passes her house, and Rachel gives her the name “Jess”.
  • Megan is not keen on uncomfortable situations and avoids them at all costs.
  • She was bored and lonely.
  • She was restless.

Nearly every situation and personality trait, other than the fact that Megan tried masturbating in front of her therapist, matched up with me.

dfdI went to see the movie last night with Mr. Jess, and I feel as though I was laughing more than I should have for such a serious movie. The book left me in psychological disarray while the movie left me in stitches. Luckily, Mr. Jess laughed at all of the same parts as I did.

Meet Rachel

fgfdsdRachel jumps on the 8:00am train to New York (in the book it’s London, but whatever). You think she’s going to a job, but in reality, she’s just riding the train getting schwasted and passing her old house in Ardsley that she used to share with her husband, Tom, but he cheated on her with his current wife Anna because Rachel was too busy downing a bottle or two of wine every night. Turns out, she couldn’t get pregnant while married to Tom and it devastated her to the point of drunken stupor. As she rides the train, she notices a young couple in a house just a few doors down from her old one. To her, they are everything she wants. They seem loving, affectionate, and horny all of the time since she has seen them having sex multiple times from the train. She’s just a sad mess of a human.

One morning, she sees Jess (aka Megan) kissing another man and she goes a bit nutty. She gets rip roaring drunk, goes on the train, decides she wants to confront Jess and call her a “whore”, but she’s so drunk she can’t remember a thing. She wakes up the next morning covered in mudblood, mud and blood and then suddenly, Jess is missing.

Meet Megan

girl-on-the-train-trailer-03Megan is a very complex character because she has many secrets. She also can’t seem to keep her panties on. Seriously, girl? STOP HAVING SEX IN FRONT OF WINDOWS. I avoid windows like cats avoid water. I’m always assuming someone is watching. At least put some curtains up. Damn.

Anyways, that’s not even all of it. She stands on her terrace in a bra and panties, watching the train go by. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, MEGAN. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS NAKED? People can see you! You’re drop dead gorgeous, therefore, you are not invisible.

Okay, let’s try this again. She’s trying to seduce her therapist, which I believe is just a way to prove that she can take and screw whoever she wants. She’s married to a controlling man who reads her emails, yet she finds it endearing no matter how many times her therapist says it’s not, and it’s just plain creepy. She’s having a secret affair with another mystery man, which I’ll get to later. <<< I’m sure this last sentence didn’t shock you.

Meet Scott

girl-on-the-train-trailer-04Megan’s crazy hubby. Doesn’t he look like someone with some serious anger issues? The muscles with the buzz cut and scruff. Constant scowl on his face.

He’s always slamming tables and shouting. No wonder Megan was doing the bang bang with some other dude. Nearly every scene involving them two, they were having sex, and it was always started by this guy. He clearly man-handled Megan like a table. Other than his wretched personality, there’s not much to his character or past that is even relevant to this blog post.

Meet Anna

GOT Props000850.RAF

Anna is Tom’s current wife and mother of his child. She was the “other woman” when Tom was married to Rachel and now she’s been wifed up and living in Rachel’s former house, folding Rachel’s sheets and cleaning Rachel’s dining room table she picked out. Bitch. She really enjoyed the fact that she was the other woman, but all of a sudden she’s acting like Mother Teresa now that she has a baby. When Megan quits her job as their nanny, Anna says, “What other job is more important than being a mother?” Way to set females back fifty years! Good job, Anna.

Meet Tom

xvTHE MURDERER HIMSELF. Turns out, he knocked up Megan and when she tried to tell him, he killed her in a fit of rage with a rock in the woods. Such a classic scenario for Anna. She cheats with him, yet somehow doesn’t think he will just do the same thing to her. Idiot.

The ending scene is fabulous as the truth comes out. Anna is freaking out on him because she now knows he was doing the deed with Megan in their own house, and his response was, “You were so tired all the time…”


Of course she was you dickweed. She was taking care of your baby. Eventually, Rachel, out of self-defense, kills Tom with a wine opener (how poetic) in his backyard. Anna comes running out, bends down, and twists the opener lodged in his throat to “help”.

Anna and Rachel, bitter enemies…and now frenemies.

That’s it for my breakdown. If you still have an interest in the movie/book, here’s the trailer for your entertainment.


8 thoughts on “Breakdown of “Girl on the Train”

  1. This was really good! So much better than watching an actual movie. I feel like I know these character now haha. Scott does look like he has anger issues. I can see him throwing a lawn chair and hitting a kid by accident with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Jess,

    Nice summary! How great is it that someone named Jess is doing a review? 🙂

    Okay, so do you see exhibitionist sex as taboo…or creepy. The masturbating in front of your therapist seems more like a cry for help than actual creepy, aside from being hard to watch.

    I’m just meeting you here, so I should semi-apologize for the too-direct questioning of your Megan “avoid uncomfortable situations at all costs” deal, but you’re also a writer seeking adversity (at least on a subconscious level). You don’t have to answer, but if you’re so much like Megan…what is a likely “spiral” for you – how do you decompensate or are you mostly just teetering on the verge of some weirdness?

    I’m not terribly concerned, it just seems like an opportune time for questions like these. I’m driven by forces I don’t want to look at which have caused me to do a little sleep-walking through my life…we probably all are to some extent.

    I didn’t read the book, but I though the movie was pretty good and quite telling of the quiet little “deals” people make in bedroom communities.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi RR! So glad you liked my post. In regards to your question, it wasn’t so much that Megan and I shared the same mannerisms or personality, but we had the same sort of life/thoughts, I guess is the easiest way to put it. I’m also an artist, and I’m always looking for work in a gallery, and I also was a nanny for a little while. As far as her thoughts go, in the book she was very uncertain about her life and her goals and at times felt lost, which I think is something nearly everyone can relate to. I didn’t actually find it creepy that Megan was trying to masturbate in front of her therapist. In the book, to me, it seemed like she was trying to fill a void in her marriage. Her therapist was sitting there listening to her without judgement of course, which I think excited and maybe even amused her. The book did a good job going in depth with each character and what they were thinking, which I didn’t feel the movie did very well!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: My 2016 Reading Challenge: Another Failed Attempt | You're Fine

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