Humor, Out of the Ordinary, Sarcasm

Guest Post: Life as a Royal – Alex from Only Bad Chi


I’ve always been a huge Marie Antoinette fan. I nearly dedicated a final paper in college to Marie and her unfortunate execution. I’m a firm believer that she never said, “Let them eat cake!”  Fun fact: her final words before her execution were, “pardon me, sir. I meant not to do it.” She accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner. She seemed like a real doll. #TeamMarie

With that said, the Palace of Versailles is easily one of my favorite places on earth. Everything from the Hallway of Mirrors to her mysterious Le Petit Trianon, I could spend days, even weeks on this beautiful property. I’ve asked Alex from Only Bad Chi to imagine what her life would be like as a royal, and it’s pretty badass. 

200-29It’s hard for me to imagine what my life would be like as a royal, because the only thing I’m the queen of is not having my shit together. But if I were a true royal, I’d like to think I would be a subversive one. Because I have an issue with the existence of royalty on principle–to crown one set of human beings as essentially more important than all others is absurd. It’s elitist, arbitrary, and dangerous. (Don’t get me wrong–I don’t think “democracy” is any better–it’s just another way of anointing royalty, but worse, because it purports to be egalitarian). The establishment of a societal hierarchy, whether via undemocratic democracy or bloodline, seems to me to serve no other purpose than to enrich the few at the cost of the many. So if I were born into that, I would rebel. I would try to be charitable, giving away as much of my “property” as I could before the higher ups stopped me. Like, I would literally be throwing loaves of bread to the poor from the rooftop (palace-top?). I would wear regular clothes (aka spandex), decline a fancy wedding (let’s be real I would be the spinster of the family anyways), and not use my status to get out of speeding tickets. I would get a job, continue to look like a walking misfortune, and clean up after myself(/let my dishes pile up but expect no one else to take care of them). I would go to public school, absolutely REFUSE to partake in anything involving the word “polo,” lose my security detail, and just generally tell the monarchy to suck it.

So basically if I were royal I would not be royal. I’m doing a really bad job at answering this question. I guess my point is I would try to use my power to affect positive change. Like Princess Diana, only chubbier and without the death by conspiracy.


One thought on “Guest Post: Life as a Royal – Alex from Only Bad Chi

  1. Pingback: Guest Post: Life as a Royal – Alex from Only Bad Chi — You’re Fine – only bad chi

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