Happy Thanksgiving Eve to my fellow Americans! Once again, I pray I don’t end up in that awkward circle at the dinner table where we express all of the things we are thankful for because mine are typically pointless and embarrassing.
1. Taron Egerton’s jaw (once again)
I got to meet all of you beautiful people.
3. Cookie Butter
Last year it was peanut butter, but this year, the game has changed.
4. Loryn Brantz Comics
Even though most people hate you, I appreciate your farmland, overbearing parents, and the rich New England atmosphere you present.
6. My cat, Mumford
He keeps me company.
You’ll be presenting the Gilmore Girls revival on Friday. I’m so happy and excited I could cry.
8. The Obama Biden Memes
9. The Starbucks “You Are Here” Mugs
Because how else will I remember my trip with a Starbucks mug? (I have like, 10 of them.)
12. My Maintenance manager
Because he never bothers me.
Because every time I enter the state of New Hampshire, my skin turns to dust.
15. The Christmas Tree Shop
16. Hot Cocoa
17. Michael’s Craft Store
You’ve helped quite a bit with my small painting career.
19. My flannel comforter
20. The Internet
It’s a love-hate relationship.
21. My desk
You store so much of my useless junk.
22. Paper Shredder
23. Garbage Men/Women
Because they take care of your garbage.
24. Cardboard boxes
I’ve kept all of my boxes over the last six months. And now I have boxes to use for Christmas wrapping purposes because I’m schmart.
25. Group Chats
They make my day brighter.
Everyone have a wonderful holiday! And I’ll be silently rooting for you as you snatch the boots out of some lady’s hands on Black Friday.