I embarrass myself daily. Sometimes I’m aware of when it’s happening, other times I’m not. My embarrassing moments usually consist of oversharing, cracking jokes that nobody understands, walking into doors, tables, and walls (how DID that wall get there?), or stumbling on my words to the point where they are incoherent simply because I’m nervous.
Here are some ideas I’ve come up with on how to get out of embarrassing situations.
1.) Just yell out words that come to mind.
By simply shouting out random and irrelevant words, you are then distracting from the previous embarrassing moment with a new one that will both confuse and hopefully amuse the other person.
If asked why you just yelled out (insert random word here), add an improv sentence that relates to the word.
“Jess, why did you just yell kittens?”
“They are just so fuzzy, and cute with little pink noses. I love them so much. Want to see this video?”
*Embarrassing crisis diverted*
2.) Shuffle your way out.
Learn to do a slight dance shuffle. As soon as the embarrassing moment has taken place and the awkward silence occurs, dance your way out of the encounter and move far, far away.
3.) The classic “Hey! Look over there!”
Jess has just cracked a joke that was taken far too seriously by the group of individuals, and now they are staring, slurping on their beverages and trying to figure out the next move.
“Hey! Look at that over there!” she yells.
They all turn to look behind them.
4.) Pull a Gone Girl
If you haven’t read the book or watched the movie, stop reading here if you don’t want any spoilers.
It’s the perfect plan. Simply fake your own death. Come up with a brand new identity.
Some things you will need to accomplish this mission:
- Bleach – to clean the fake blood off the floor. Duh.
- Hair dye
- The complete opposite wardrobe from what you normally wear.
- Lots of money
- More money
- Some sort of weapon, just in case.
5.) Keep Laughing
Laugh so hard, you look manic.
*Please share any methods you find useful!