Festivities, Humor, I'm not a mommy blogger, Out of the Ordinary, Sarcasm

Valentine’s Day Cards

No, this is not an anti-Valentine’s Day post. I’m not one of those single people who overly emphasizes that I’m alone on this holiday, or writes “Singletines” rather than “Valentine’s”. I don’t mind Valentine’s Day. Although, if you do write mushy messages to each other on social media, please know that neither I nor the rest of the world cares, and we wish you would stop. I don’t want to see it on any normal day, and to me, Valentine’s Day is just like every other day.

Now that we got that out of the way, I’d like to discuss Valentine’s Day cards. I don’t like those overly sentimental greeting cards. You know, the ones with the really fancy cursive font with a floral painting and some kind of cheesy poem inside. I don’t care for those. I like the sarcastic ones. I just got my Nana a birthday card that says “You’re Awful” on the front, but then peel the entire card open and it says, “You are awesome and wonderful.” I like that crap.

I’m not trying to brag or anything, but my family should start a greeting card business. Every time there’s a family party for someone’s birthday, my uncle goes to the store and grabs a handful of cards. I don’t even think he looks at them. He just picks out about 15 cards at random and then modifies them when he gets home.

So, I’ve decided to modify some Valentine’s Day cards I found online. I think they are a bit more original.

A big shout out to my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters for helping me out with these. I couldn’t have done it without that family wit. We should all be in therapy.




























But in all seriousness, I wish you all a happy Valentine’s Day. To me, you are all my valentines. Plus, my cat. I can’t forget about my cat.


29 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day Cards

  1. Auntie Dy says:

    OMG ! I am laughing just as hard now as when we came up with these ! I need my inhaler . Happy Valentines Day …I love you like a fat girl loves brownies ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These are hilarious. I’ve been saying for years that I should come out with a line of sarcastic greeting cards. I think they would be a big seller. I do tend to make my own cards these days, rather than buy them. When a friend of mine graduated from college, I just drew a picture of grumpy cat wearing a cap and gown. Inside it just said, “You have graduated.” My mom’s birthday is this Saturday, I really need to get on that.

    This is what I’ll do until Tina Fey releases her line of greeting cards. Which she really should. Or your should hit the Hallmark stores, I’d buy those.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha thanks! My uncle gave my Grandpa a birthday card that said, “You matter” and then the inside said, “…today.” I love the Grumpy Cat card you came up with. I’m now in the habit of modifying every card I buy. It’s more fun that way!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha well done. Number four was morbid though lol.
    Many years ago a card store went out of business near my grandfathers house so he went there and took home a box of cards and has been picking out birthday/christmas cards from that box ever since. Some of the cards have gotten yellow on the inside. Anyways, one christmas card he gave us said “Merry Christmas from our new location”. Hahaha he didn’t move house, but that didn’t stop him from using the card – which he probably didn’t read ahead of time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Valentine’s Day-it’s not for everyone! | cornfedcontessa

  5. OMG, hilarious! You guys should have your own greeting card market. Ever seen “SHOEBOX–A Tiny Little Division of Hallmark”? Yours could be called
    BUTTCRACK–A Sarcastic Division tucked into the waaaay back of Hallmark. Have a great V-day. 🙂


  6. ashleysblahblahblog says:

    I love giving people sarcastic cards for their birthdays, but I’ve always just made them myself. LOVE the idea of modifying cards though, I’ll have to keep that in mind next time I’m at the dollar store! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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