Awkward, Dating, Girls, Humor, My Idea Of Being An Adult, Thoughts, You're Fine

It’s Just a Date

You know it’s been a while when you log into your WordPress account and find 17 spam comments you need to delete.

How has everyone been? Good? Cool? Solid? Wonderful.

I would devote some time to reading blog posts by all of you glorious bloggers but I don’t simply have the time. I’ll try, though.

But I have finally plopped a seat in my kitchen with a hot cup of coffee watching the sun shine through my window on this day. It’s supposed to be 89 degrees today. The heat has already kicked in rather rapidly here in Charleston, and I’ve been melting. Only slightly.

I’m about to share with you some funny stories over the last few weeks, some updates, and maybe ask for a little advice too, if you’d like to give it.

The job in the gallery is going pretty well. Of course, there are some aspects to the job that aren’t wonderful, but the shoe always drops, doesn’t it? I’m not going to be a millionaire anytime soon but at least I’m gaining valuable experience.

I’ve been “dating” or rather, “seeing” one guy in particular. My Girl Gang group chat with Meghan and Myka like to call him Southern Man. He’s born and raised in Charleston. He’s a little rough around the edges, but he’s sweet. In a weird yet comforting way, he reminds me of my dad. He’s fun to be around and he brings me nachos late at night after he works. We’ve been seeing each other for over a month and I’m having serious doubts about the whole thing. I told him after our first date that I wanted this to be casual for now. I just wanted to keep spending time with him before committing to anything serious. However, after our first date, he made it very known how MUCH he likes me. I feel like I should have been happy with this but I wasn’t. It actually kind of freaked me out. But I wanted to give him a fair chance and still hang out with him in hopes that it would change. It did change slightly. I actually do really like him, but there’s one major con standing in the way. He absolutely despises kids.

He has no intention of having children at all. The first few times he mentioned it, I let it slide. But he’s brought it up on numerous occasions to the point where it concerns me and I’m realizing he’s not joking. I completely respect his decision to not want kids, but I made it known that I actually do want kids in the future. This doesn’t seem to phase him, though. So I keep thinking, where does it go from here? Here’s my answer: it doesn’t. I am fully aware that us hanging out, casually, is as far as it’s going to go. Unfortunately, I know he doesn’t see it that way.

Southern Man left for a cruise on Saturday and will be back on Thursday. I plan to have a chat with him when he’s back to clear the air and see what he’s thinking. I hate having those conversations, especially when it’s about something that is so far off in my future that the whole conversation sounds a little insane. But the way I see it is if I’m going to get serious with someone, we need to want the same things in life.

On a less serious note, I went out for a ladies night on Saturday. I have found a very colorful and crazy group of girlfriends whom I love. We sat in an Irish bar and listened to Irish folk music and danced. Here is the part where I may need some advice from you fellow bloggers but read the entire situation, and take into consideration what I had just previously shared with you.

I’m sitting at the bar, drinking my Michelob Ultra, and noticed a guy at the bar kept smiling at me. He interacted with me from across the bar a couple of times in a joking manner. After a little while, the bartender handed me a shot of whiskey. I asked her where it came from and she pointed to the man. I started laughing and he yelled, “You’re in an Irish bar and you’re drinking a Michelob. Have a whiskey!”

I hate whiskey. But I took the shot anyway and made sure to give him the most disgusted face after, in which he laughed. So then I followed along and asked the bartender to pour two rumplemintz shots. I had never heard of rumplemintz until I moved to Charleston. It tastes like toothpaste but at least you’re minty fresh after. I asked her to hand one over to the guy. As the bartender is pouring them, another guy comes up to me and asks to buy me a drink. I was like a lost doe in the woods. Here I was, buying a man a drink while another man is trying to buy ME a drink. It was a very confusing 10 seconds of my life. I looked down to read this new guy’s t-shirt and it read the name of the same restaurant Southern Man works at and I nearly had a heart attack. Charleston is small, y’all. So I instantly said, “No, I’m good. Thank you.” If I had said yes, I would have had to change my name.

The whiskey guy at the bar took his shot of rumplemintz and yelled, “Thanks for the Colgate!” After a little while, he got up to leave and slipped a piece of paper with his number on it.

Smooth.

What I liked about this guy was how classy and old school he was. He didn’t try to come over and talk to me because he could see I was with my friends. That’s already a good sign in my book. He didn’t ask if he could buy me a drink, he did it anyway. Another good sign. And the fact that he slipped me his number on a piece of paper like it was 1997 made me a happy camper.

I sent him a text, and we’ve been talking on and off since Saturday. Then he wrote to me, “This may seem a little forward, but would you like to have dinner sometime?” <— Another wonderful sign that he doesn’t want to push boundaries. He actually seems like a proper gentleman. And he’s in the Navy, which might explain his good manners. I said yes and now I have a date tonight at a pretty classy, expensive restaurant that apparently people try to get reservations at months ahead of time. This guy means business.

Of course, a part of me feels a little shitty because I’m still technically seeing Southern Man. I keep trying to justify it in my head by saying, “You told him casual, Jess!” or “You’re not doing anything wrong!” I’m monogamous at heart, so going on multiple dates tends to weird me out. I know deep down I’m not actually doing anything wrong or shameful but I can’t shake the feeling either. It’s just a date. It’s just a date. It’s just a date.

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23 thoughts on “It’s Just a Date

  1. Auntie Dy says:

    Sounds like a wonderful problem to have . Lol .
    Your not Married Jess . Go out on your date tonight and have fun . If you are having reservations about Southern guy . Listen . Remember always listen to your gut instinct first . If Southernguy is adamant about what he wants for the future and it doesn’t jib with yours let him go . A leopard never changes his spots . No need to waste each other’s time . Who knows Navy guy could be Mr. Right . But you will never know if you don’t go .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol that first sentence made me laugh. And you’re right. There are just too many things we don’t really agree on when it comes to that stuff, we’ve just never really discussed it.

      Like

  2. Multiple dates with different people is only starting to become a thing over here since Tinder, so I don’t really know what to make of it honestly, but I do like Barman’s style. Hope the dinner goes well!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m with Christine. You made it pretty clear that things aren’t going to move any more forward with Southern Man than they already have. I would definitely advise honesty with him when he gets back. Let him know what you’re looking for and let him down. Hope your date tonight has gone well!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nana and Grampy says:

    Southern Man is already laying down the rules. Tell him,….”well bless your heart, even though you may be a lovely man, I don’t think we have enough in common”. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You want things to be casual with Southern Man and you made that known. In the long run, you guys want completely different things in life so it doesn’t have the potential to ever become serious. I get you feeling a little bad but you really aren’t doing anything wrong. Nothing is going to come of your relationship with Southern Man so you shouldn’t let it prevent you from exploring other options. I realize I’m reading this late so I’m assuming the date already happened. Hope it went well.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Southern Guy’s views are incompatible with yours, he has made that clear. There is no suitable compromise for the kid thing… you can’t have half a kid, or a part-time kid, for instance. You were already on the brink of having this uncomfortable discussion with him and possibly breaking up over it. So what harm is there in going out on a date with someone else? I say GO and don’t feel guilty about it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Okay, so I’m reading your blog posts in reverse, so I already know how this turns out, BUT in regards to the kid thing: it’s important! You’re not messing around anymore. You know what you want, so why waste your time with someone who wants the opposite? My fiance and I had the kid talk on the first date (sort of by accident – it came up naturally, so it wasn’t like “Hi, nice to meet you, by the way, I DO NOT WANT BABIES SO DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT”) and it was great.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha exactly! It stinks because I do like him but I just know it’s not something that’s going to work out in the end ☹️ I don’t think it’s that strange to casually bring up whether or not the person wants kids. I mean, the big questions don’t have to be a big deal unless you make them out to be.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly! And when we met, we were both ready for something serious, so we didn’t want to waste any time with people who didn’t share our general life goals. Like… if I went on a date with a guy who was super nice, but he was looking for a stay-at-home mom for a housewife, he would be sorely disappointed with me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • A solid discussion is what I need haha no reason to make any final decisions just yet. I’m with you on the house-wife thing. I’d make a terrible housewife hahah

        Like

  8. Welcome back! It’s always weird coming back to wordpress after a bit of a hiatus.

    Being an often clueless male my self I’m not one for giving advice on other men but I think you should just give things a go and see how it all turns out. A little bit of confusion here and there can be fun and enlightening. You seem to have some good options on hand so the likelihood of it turning out good for you seems high. Regardless of what happens you should come out of it with some interesting experiences and maybe even a life lesson or two.

    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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