Dating, Memories, Social Media, Thoughts, You're Fine

How You Should View Your Ex

The other day, my ex of almost six years posted on Instagram for his girlfriend’s birthday. She’s a relatively new girlfriend, although I’ve been aware of her for a while. It’s only been a recent thing that my ex has actually posted anything with her. I’ve done some creeping and some stalking (I think we can all officially agree that we do this, mostly out of boredom), and she genuinely seems like a sweet person, and I really am happy for him. But the birthday post bothered me for just a minute.

I stopped for a second, reading his post about her birthday and calling her his “Partner in crime”, and realized he never once posted for my birthday. There was one year he posted on my birthday, but it was about the uniform he received in the mail for the Boston Marathon. I had that moment of weakness where I thought, “Why did he post for her and not for me?” And then I slapped myself in the face. My friend Helen sent me a text message and I brought up the birthday post. She wrote, “Isn’t it interesting to see what your exes are willing to do for other people and what they didn’t do for you?”

Now, I realize the Instagram post is a petty and fairly small thing to complain about. It really isn’t all that important. But when you break up, you tend to go over in your head not just the big things, but the small things that matter too. Like how every year, I posted on our anniversary and he didn’t. Or that one year I threw him a surprise birthday party. Or how every gift he gave me was so impersonal and lacked interest, which in a way showed how much he didn’t know me. The little things matter because those are the things that show the other person you care.

My response to Helen was simple: It’s a good thing that I’m seeing these changes because it tells me he learned something from all of this. You’re supposed to see changes in your ex, so rather than being mad and upset because what they’re doing now is something they didn’t ever do for you is ridiculous. You should be happy that they’re changing their ways, otherwise the next girl doesn’t stand a chance. Both my ex and I were too selfish to be considerate to one another, which is why he’s my ex. We were young, so we were supposed to be selfish.

This, I believe, is how every person should view their ex. Unless they tried to stab you or steal from you, you shouldn’t look at them with hatred simply because it didn’t work out. Especially once your ex has moved onto someone else and is treating them the way they are supposed to be treated, you should be happy about this because it means they actually listened to you.

I don’t hate any of my exes, even the shady, cheating ones. I’m not buddy-buddy with any of them, but if I were to run into them walking down the street, I’d offer to grab a coffee and catch up. I’ve grown a lot when it comes to relationships. No matter what I experienced, bad or good, or what I’ve been through, I am who I am. I will never be the jealous girlfriend, or the controlling girlfriend, or the clingy girlfriend. I have my own life and so do they. If they screw up, I will always give them a chance to properly explain themselves, but if they need to explain themselves every single week, then it’s time to call it quits. I’ve learned my time is precious, and I’m no longer going to waste it with anyone who can’t reciprocate those feelings.

So the next time you see your ex, whether it’s in-person or through social media, be the bigger person. No longer sit and stew over what you see, and walk along.

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Internet Things, Social Media, Thoughts

To My Internet Friends

Here’s a scary story for you:

I was nine-years-old when I entered my first chat room. Don’t ask me how or why I ended up in a chat room at the age of nine because I couldn’t tell you. The internet is a strange place. I got a random message from someone named Ashley asking how I was doing. She seemed nice. She just happened to be nine-years-old too. And just happened to live in blah, blah, blah, (same town) New Hampshire.

What are the odds? I thought.

My mother found me talking to “Ashley” and naturally freaked out and made me log off. She explained that “Ashley” was most likely not nine-years-old, and “Ashley” could have been a man. It clicked for me, and since then, the Internet has scared me.

Of course, times have changed drastically since then. The Internet seems to be our main source of communication. When I first started my blog, I didn’t know what to expect, but one of the first pieces of advice I read from other, more established bloggers was this:

Don’t be afraid to talk to bloggers.

They highly suggested commenting on other blog sites to communicate and engage with them. In the world of blogging, it’s okay to talk to strangers despite what our parents taught us when we were little. In fact, it’s expected of you. I thought about it and realized that it made total sense. How else are you supposed to get traffic on your blog if no one knows you exist?

Once I started communicating with other bloggers, I began forming close friendships with each of them. For some bloggers, we started emailing each other. And for only a couple, we began texting. I started thinking about how I don’t find any of this weird like I used to.

There’s always a chance there is a serial killer loose on WordPress, so there’s no 100% guarantee that you are safe. We immerse ourselves into the lives of other people we find funny and thoughtful that they no longer feel like strangers. I consider some of these bloggers as my best and closest friends.

Now, to someone who doesn’t blog, they may find this concept a bit strange, and a little sad. Let me dispute those feelings. As an introverted person, I can be pretty shy when meeting new people. I can be reserved, quiet, and maybe seem a little boring. It wasn’t until I started blogging that I began feeling a bit more comfortable in my own skin due to the support of my blogging community. Meeting new people intimidated me. I find myself cracking more jokes and being my naturally sarcastic self when in the presence of someone new, and when people laugh or freak out because I just referenced Willy Wonka, it feels like a breath of fresh air. The awkward hump in my shoulder has disappeared.

Whenever I get a message or a text from one of my Internet friends, my day is instantly brighter. These are the type of friends every person should strive for. One blogger in particular has helped me out quite a bit whether he realizes it or not. When I lived in California, I didn’t have many friends, I missed my family, I was unhappy most of the time, and I couldn’t sleep due to stress. This blogger entertained me both on and off WordPress. I’m sure he has no clue how much he helped me since our conversations were mostly about silly topics, but he was and still is a wonderful distraction to the chaos and confusion in my life. For once, it was nice talking to someone about things other than money or jobs. It was nice discussing our favorite TV shows and what college was like for us. It was nice feeling like a kid again. Luckily, I have found other bloggers who give me that same boost of energy. In a way, this is why I blog – I never want to lose sight of these people.

It’s complicated explaining these friendships to outsiders mostly because I’ve never met these friends of mine, except for one. As bloggers, we try our best to show our most charming selves whether it’s self-deprecation, our talents, our accomplishments, or our humor. I understand that many of my friends could be entirely different in person, which is hard for me to grasp. For all I know, these people could have qualities that are so hateful or rude or narcissistic, but you’ll never know until you meet them. Or they may not even like me in person, which is just as terrifying to think about. I talk to a few of these bloggers nearly every day, sometimes all day long. It’s hard for me to not bring them up in conversation with other people. They’re in my life and that can’t be ignored.

Does it bother me that I’ve never met these people? Absolutely. I hate not being familiar with their facial expressions, or what truly makes them laugh, or even what their laugh sounds like. I don’t get the full package but merely a piece of them in small increments. When you confide in someone, not only are you listening to them, but you’re watching them speak. I believe you don’t truly know what a person is thinking until you observe them in conversation. We all have a fixed idea of what each of us are like in real life, so I understand the appeal of staying behind the computer screen because that image could be tarnished forever if met face to face. But I’m still, and will forever be curious to no end.

My point in this post is this: I may never meet some of you. Ever. One day, one of us will stop blogging and will never hear from each other again. It’s a scary thought, but it’s a fact. So to my blogging and Internet friends, just know, I’m grateful for your existence. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you. I appreciate and cherish your friendship, and hope that it will continue for many years to come.

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I Wasn't Worried, Internet Things, Memories, My Idea Of Being An Adult, Out of the Ordinary, Social Media, Things I Should Have Solved A Year Ago, You're Fine

My Life Six Months After Facebook

I made some drastic changes at the beginning of the year. Over the holidays, when I realized California was no longer a place I wanted to be, I packed my bags, moved back in with my mom in New Hampshire, found a job, moved to Connecticut, and started new.

It was during this time that I decided to get rid of Facebook forever.

Well, everyone knows it’s not forever. Unfortunately, you can deactivate your account, but it’s still there whenever you feel the urge to check it, but it was a step in the right direction.

There were a lot of questions and reactions surrounding my breakup with Facebook. Are you doing it because of your recent breakup? Are you trying to avoid someone? Is it because you’re looking for a job? You’ll be back, right?

No, to all of these.

I actually wanted to get rid of my page years ago, but there were many people fighting against it that I raised my white flag instead.

I did it because I personally felt like I wasn’t going to figure my life out with the distraction of Facebook. It was a place where I constantly compared my life to other people. My page claimed I had around 500 friends, when in reality, I didn’t actually have many friends. At the time, I had around 2-3 friends I constantly spoke to, and still do to this day. While most people would say that’s satisfying, it only goes so far when most of those people live in different parts of the country.

I needed to figure out what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be, and who I wanted to spend my time with without Facebook and all of its people influencing those decisions. I wanted to be able to do just about anything without everyone knowing about it. I didn’t like the feeling that all eyes were on me, watching my every move and judging my every decision. If I want to pull an all-nighter and walk aimlessly around New York City, I don’t want the entire world to know it, and proceed to ask me questions. In hindsight, I just wanted to be left alone.

It’s been approximately six months since I left Facebook, with only a handful of times I’ve logged on only to grab a picture or two. I’ve noticed some pretty liberating changes since then that I’d like to share with all of you.

1. Meeting and getting to know friends organically.

Since moving to Connecticut, I’ve met a large number of new friends. Back when I had Facebook, I most likely would have become friends with them after meeting them the first time, creeped on their Facebook page, and that’s how I would have gotten to know them.

Oh, I see Amanda went to Ireland a few months ago. She must like to travel.

Brian is constantly confessing his love for Hillary Clinton. He must be into politics.

Our real-life conversations would have been mediocre at best because we would have felt like we already knew each other based on our Facebook page. Without Facebook, I have no outside knowledge about them, therefore I ask them questions and really show that I care, and vice versa.

2. Absolutely no drama.

Everyone deals with stress whether it’s work-related, or family issues, but Facebook stress is a real sucker and is completely unnecessary. Since I left Facebook, I haven’t been wrapped up in an internet argument, or been subtly insulted by some unknowing individual not realizing their statuses affect their “friends”. There wasn’t a day I didn’t get upset about something because of Facebook, but now, it’s one less thing I stress about and that feeling goes a long way.

I logged on the other day to retrieve an old photo to my phone, and the first status that popped up was a complaint about society, or something like it. I instantly felt claustrophobic and wanted to throw my phone against the wall. It’s kind of similar to that parenting method – if you’re anxious and stressed, your child will be too.

3. Reaching out.

When I hear good news through the grapevine, I now have to personally text or call the person to congratulate them. I feel like that makes a difference, even if they don’t say that it does. For instance, a friend of mine from my MFA program recently signed a 3-4 book deal with a publishing house. I don’t talk to him much, at least not since I graduated, but when I found out, I immediately texted him to send my congrats and asked him all about it. It seemed like he really appreciated it, especially since I’m sure many people said similar things to him on his status.

When I heard a friend of mine got engaged, I texted her to ask how he proposed, and I got the full story and all of her gushyness. I would not have gotten that same experience through Facebook. I certainly feel like I’ve become a better friend and person because of this.

4. Focusing on healthy relationships.

I’m no longer wasting my energy on relationships that are actually just acquaintances. I get to share happy events with those who matter the most, and eliminating those who only spoke to me out of convenience from Facebook. There were some people I considered close friends, and I haven’t heard from them in months. At times, it’s upsetting, but then I remind myself that I’m now surrounded by friends who like speaking to me, and put in the effort to spend time with me.

When Mr. Jess and I decided to start dating, it was pretty nice not having the entire world know about it. Not that I was trying to hide him or anything, but we didn’t have the distraction of everyone asking questions or sticking their noses where it didn’t belong. Everyone got to meet me naturally, and vice  versa. There had been too many times in the past when a significant other and I changed our relationship status, and then ex-boyfriends and girlfriends fluttered in like a pack of cluster flies, sending messages and throwing things completely out of whack. It kind of puts a damper on the honeymoon stage.

Mr. Jess and I got to focus on each other instead, and it has made all the difference in how we approach our relationship. The real beauty of it was when he texted me the other night saying that he realized he never changed his relationship status and he actually didn’t care at all, and for once, he was just focused on being happy. It made me realize that I’d never had a relationship before that wasn’t announced to everyone through some form of social media. I guess that’s growing up millennial.


Facebook has way too much of our past – where we’ve been, who we’ve interacted with, what we’ve said and done. I don’t miss one thing about Facebook. It was the best decision I ever made.

Have you ever thought about leaving it? If so, why? Tell me your thoughts on the matter! It seems as though the Facebook walls are slowly crashing down.

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Humor, Internet Things, Rant, Sarcasm, Social Media, You're Fine

2016 Pet Peeves

It’s been a little over a year since my last post about my pet peeves which means I have a new set of pet peeves to share with all of you.

1. The Upcoming Election

I will not tell any of you who I’d prefer as president because to be quite honest, whether I say Trump or Clinton, I’ll get backlash for it no matter what, so what’s the point? There’s a pretty good chance I won’t even vote this year.

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Before you’re all like, “JESS. YOU HAVE TO. IT’S YOUR AMERICAN RESPONSIBILITY.” I must make things clear that I actually don’t have to do anything. I have the RIGHT to vote, meaning, I don’t have to if I don’t want to.

Secondly, I’m responsible enough to realize that I’m not “in” with the politics enough to even make a decision. I don’t watch the debates/conventions because I’d rather knit my cat a sweater. I truly don’t understand most of it, so why sit through the drivel?

Before you’re all like, “You should try to understand it and educate yourself.” I should also be flossing more but I don’t do that either.

I’ve come to realize that no matter who becomes our next president, all I’ll hear are complaints for the next 4-8 years just like we do with every president. MOVING ON.

2. “The Game” on Social Media

What I’m about to complain about will make me sound like I’m five. But I don’t care. Every person I’ve talked to about this has admitted it bothers them as well. I’m looking at you, Paul! Paul and I called it, “The Game”.

It’s when you find someone you knew from maybe work, or high school, or college, and you follow them. We will use the Instagram platform for this as it seems to matter the most to me. I’ll follow that person, genuinely wondering what they have been up to. And then they post something the next day and you realize….that motherfucker never followed you back. This has been happening to me a lot lately and I can’t seem to figure out why. I’m not talking about people I briefly met four years ago. I’m talking about people I’ve known since THE FIRST GRADE. People I worked with EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s insulting, really. I stumbled across this app called Followers + for Instagram. I felt silly downloading it but it tells you your stats for your Instagram account, and since I’m promoting my artwork on there, it seemed like it would be useful. There’s a section on the app that tells you who unfollowed you, or who you may be following and they haven’t reciprocated, and vice versa. I decided to take a look at who never followed me back. It was either a huge mistake, or a complete blessing because it was an alarming number of people. A ridiculous number of people I went to middle school, high school, and college with. I recently followed a guy I knew all throughout high school and he never acknowledged it. AND WE WENT OUT ON A DATE. My big brother from my grad program? Ignored me. A girl I stayed with in California for an entire month? Ignored me.

You guys are my friends. Am I not a likable person or something? I understand none of you have met me, but my personality on my blog pretty much mirrors my personality in person. There’s really not much of a difference. I may have a slightly bigger nose than you imagined but that’s it. I understand that a lot of people may just be oblivious and not notice when someone they know follows them. But after YEARS of the same person liking and commenting on their photos, you’d think they’d stop and be like, “Hey, who is that? I must know them, right?”

Well, being the five year old that I am, I unfollowed all of these people. It was satisfying to say the least. Here I was, kind of caring about their lives and the feeling wasn’t mutual. BYE FELICIA.

You know, I always felt a strong connection with Josie Gellar in Never Been Kissed for this exact reason.

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3. Combining Couples Names

Tiddleswift? Really? I feel like this should have died years ago. When did this start? 2009? 2010? It’s been going on for way too long.

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4. Spilling your guts on Instagram and Twitter

I’m talking about the quotes that say, “I don’t remember what it’s like to not feel broken.” Leave that shit on Facebook if you feel compelled to tell everyone you’re depressed about something. Isn’t that what Facebook has become? Everyone’s therapy? Don’t bring Twitter and Instagram into that mess. Those are places for happy and funny thoughts, along with a massive amount of puppy pictures.

5. Instachat?

STORY TIME.

I had a Snapchat once. I deleted it after a day because I thought it was stupid.

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What are some of your 2016 Pet Peeves? Please share your annoyances with me.

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Art, Connecticut, Festivities, Humor, I Wasn't Worried, I'm not a mommy blogger, Internet Things, My Idea Of Being An Adult, Social Media

Art Project: Florals, Fruit, For Sale, Oh My!

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Hello beautiful people! I’ve finally done it! I’ve created the website that holds all of my hopes and dreams.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about the latest watercolors I’ve created over the last few months. It’s been a wonderful lifestyle so far, and whenever I feel the urge to paint something, I’m able to hop over to my desk and do just that. I had been toying with the idea of trying sell my artwork, but obviously it won’t be an easy task. The very idea of it terrifies me to no end, but it’s worth a shot and it gives me a chance to continue painting, whether it works out or not. I don’t expect to become the next Andy Warhol. I know my reality.

I’ve decided to name my new art site Reyna Art & DesignFor a couple of years, my dad sold his artwork. He mostly drew portraits when requested, but he loved to draw celebrity portraits like Marilyn Monroe and John Wayne. He had a Facebook page called Reyna Art, so I decided to continue the tradition.

My biggest problem is that I’m not a big promoter. I feel like those annoying salespeople that show up on your doorstep, trying to convince you that their plastic wrap is better than Glad. I don’t want to be that annoying person. I don’t want to be that person who posts an image of my artwork on Instagram or Twitter every two hours, trying to get people to buy things. Which means, I’ll need all the help I can get from you lovely people. NO PRESSURE. All I ask is that if you happen to know other artists, such as friends or family, pass me along via Instagram or Twitter, or share my website. If you happen to buy a painting of mine, post it to social media with a wink. Sharing is caring.

So far, I have seven pieces up for grabs. Since my last art post, I’ve done some diddling with florals again.

I've called this "Lumineer's Flowers" for reasons I'm sure you've read about.

I’ve called this “Lumineer’s Flowers” for reasons I’m sure you’ve read about.

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I’ve been playing around with different colored pineapples because I think they’re adorable.

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I’ve recently tried out the local paint bar in South Norwalk, CT called Muse Paintbar.

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He’s pretending to be proud of his bottle. I thought it came out fabulous!

So please, peruse my new website and pass it along! You can even find the website under my “Shop” page 🙂

ALSO, I’m going to do a shout out to someone I went to high school with back in the day. Miss Emma Marty sells wonderfully unique jewelry and has recently appeared in Vogue. Check out her page here!

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Anecdote, Art, Cats, Humor, Internet Things, Memories, Mumford, Out of the Ordinary, Social Media

I Spoke to The Lumineers

I remember when everyone first started to tweet, it was a THING to tweet at celebrities and bands, just to see if they would respond. I rarely do it because 99.9% of the time, they don’t respond to you and you look like a 15-year-old weirdo. Last night, I was listening to The Lumineers, my favorites being “Ophelia” and “Cleopatra” while painting at my desk with my cat falling asleep on my foot. I stopped and thought, “Man, my life is pretty rad.”

I decided to make a casual shout-out to The Lumineers, until it no longer became casual…at least for me.

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I, of course, instantly freaked out and began painting like a maniac and hoping my cat wouldn’t move from his spot for several hours. I responded with the picture they requested, not thinking they would respond to that until…..

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My night was made. And brownie points to Mumford for being the good little model that he was. It definitely made up for the lack of sleep he’s given me the past four nights.

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Girls, Humor, I'm not a mommy blogger, Out of the Ordinary, Rant, Social Media

How Does She Pee?

I’m not really up with the times when it comes to the Kardashian’s. I don’t watch the show, except for that one time when nothing else was on and Kourtney admitted to taking like, 30 pregnancy tests and she was only 95% sure she was pregnant.

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I was at the gym the other night, just minding my own business, trying to break a sweat, when I saw Kim Kardashian blow up the TV in front of me, and she was wearing this:

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I can never understand why the Kardashian’s are considered the “fashion forward” celebs these days. First of all, is this a highly intensified jumper/romper? Are those boots ATTACHED to her outfit? If so, how the hell does this woman pee?

I ask this because I recently wore a jumpsuit/romper to work a couple of weeks ago. I got many compliments, but it didn’t change the fact that it was such a bitch to go to the bathroom in.

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I don’t know about everyone else, but my mind has the tendency to screw with me. For instance, I’m driving home from work:

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I catch a glimpse of my street corner and suddenly a wave hits me. I REALLY NEED TO PEE. I was perfectly fine about three seconds ago up until now. I speed into my parking lot like I’m training for the Olympics, grab the twenty items from my car and wonder why I have so much stuff with me and how I don’t recall bringing all of this to work, jingle my keys around to find the one that opens the door to the building, fish for my mail because I’m too lazy to come back downstairs to get it, jingle with my keys again to find the key that opens my apartment, bust in through the door, chuck everything in my hands on the floor and fly to the bathroom like Superwoman. Now add a romper to the mix and you might as well pee your pants because you’re never getting that shit off.

How long did it take Kim Kardashian to put her boots on? Especially if it’s attached to her outfit? I can just picture myself trying to carefully slip my entire leg into those babies, and my toes getting tangled up in the web of string. I’d never get those things on. But I have to hand it to her, that’s commitment to her shoes right there. Once you get those things on, you’re wearing them all day. I’ll buy heels and take them off 30 minutes into wearing them because I’m lame. Since it takes so much effort to put those boots on, I wouldn’t want to take them off either.

In conclusion, I’m convinced Kim Kardashian is not a real human, but a fembot. Yes, I said fembot.

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The woman doesn’t pee, and she wears ridiculously high heeled boots that take longer to tie together than it was to write War and Peace. 

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Connecticut, Festivities, Humor, I'm not a mommy blogger, Internet Things, Social Media, You're Fine

Why Jess Mariano Is The Most Complex Character in “Gilmore Girls”

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*This post contains spoilers*

I may lose a lot of readers at this point because some of you may have never watched Gilmore Girls. Those of who you follow me know it’s constantly streaming on my Netflix, even if I’ve seen the episode 15,000 times. I can’t help it. It’s the one show that cheers me up, calms me down, and just simply entertains the hell out of me. Especially now that I live in Connecticut, the town of Washington Depot, which is the inspiration of Stars Hollow, is a close 40 minute drive from me. I plan to pop over for a visit there soon. Anyway, I’ve watched the show a million times, and even if you’ve never seen it, I’m sure you’ve noticed the TEAM DEAN, TEAM JESS, and TEAM LOGAN everything. It’s on mugs, t-shirts, magnets, pillows, everything. Just look on Etsy. My best friend Tierney is a major Team Dean fan, so we like to face off because I’m Team Jess, all the way. I’ve even bookmarked an Etsy mug on my computer. Team Jess followers get hated on quite a bit because let’s be real here…Jess Mariano was a total dick.

But I’m going to pull a Kanye on your asses and explain why I think Jess Mariano is the best man for Rory Gilmore, and the most complicated and underrated boyfriend on the show.

As most of you know, Jess doesn’t start off fantastic. He didn’t have that glowing grin like Dean Forrester in the first episode. He was angry, frustrated, and marched to the beat of his own drum from day one. He had quite a few reasons to be an angst-up teenager. His mother was a nut, he had no father figure, and he was being shipped off from NYC to Stars Hollow without much of a say. Naturally, he would be upset. He had a Holden Caulfield aura about him. BUT, he was well-read, intelligent, and understood Rory on a certain level that no other boyfriend had. He went along with her bits, he understood her obscure references, and he didn’t hover.

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However, let’s recap the beginning of their relationship.

He was rude to Lorelai by accusing her of sleeping with his Uncle Luke. He crashed Rory’s car Dean had built for her, by accident. He takes off on several occasions without saying goodbye. He shows up late to Friday Night Dinner with Emily Gilmore with a black eye which he gets from a swan. He yells at Rory several times as a reflex to other things happening in his life. At first glance, most would say he’s the worst boyfriend Rory ever had. But why do you think he’s the best one for Rory, Jess? I’ll tell you why.

At the end of Season 5, after working for Logan’s (her most recent boyfriend) father at a newspaper, Mr. Huntzberger tells Rory she doesn’t have what it takes to be a journalist. All she has ever wanted was to be Christiane Amanpour. Out of panic desperation and reckless thinking, she steals a yacht with Logan and is arrested for grand theft boating. She decides to take a break from Yale to figure out her life, even though Lorelai deeply disagrees with the drastic decision, which then causes the nearly six month silence between mother and daughter. At this point in time, we haven’t seen or heard from Jess in over a year. But in the middle of Season 6, he makes an appearance by paying Rory a visit. This is where we see the best character development I’ve seen in a TV show and/or book yet.

He’s come all the way from Philly to tell Rory that he has written and published a short novel. He owes all of his success and accomplishments to her. He’s working for a small printing press with a few other dudes, and overall, he seems to be doing well for himself.

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He has the unfortunate pleasure of meeting Logan. After observing Rory in her new environment, surrounded by D.A.R. meetings, high tea with her grandmother, her boyfriend with his expensive convertible, living with her grandparents, not speaking to her mother, and quitting Yale, Jess has it out for her. He’s the one who snaps her back into reality. He reminds her that she’s making a huge mistake and that none of this is really her. The fact that Rory goes back to Yale, finds a job, and gets back onto speaking terms with her mother, that is all done by the one and only Jess Mariano.

To some, this may not seem so obvious. It takes an episode or two after Jess yells at her that she finally turns it around. But his little lecture to her is something that others need to pay attention to because it changes the entire course of the series, no matter how brief or even irrelevant it may have seemed. Out of all three boyfriends, Jess was the one who made the most impact on her. Rory made a difference in Dean’s life by showing him books, movies, and music that he hadn’t been exposed to yet, but it’s hard to say that Dean made a big difference in her life. Logan broke her out of her shell a bit, but for the most part, she stayed the same with the exception of some reckless behavior and was the one to turn Logan’s life around. In the end, Jess was the boyfriend who simply wanted Rory to be happy and do what was best for her, whether he was with her or not.

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That, my friends, is why I think Jess Mariano was by far, the best. I think these things because of the upcoming Netflix revival that I believe will be released later this year. All three ex-boyfriends will be appearing in one of the four 90 minute episodes, and it will be interesting to see what role they will play nearly ten years later.

I hope you all will be raising your Team mugs the evening of its release. I know I will!

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(WhiteCedarCabin)

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I Wasn't Worried, Internet Things, My Idea Of Being An Adult, Out of the Ordinary, Social Media, Things I Should Have Solved A Year Ago, You're Fine

Facebook-Free Challenge

As of February 9th, I am officially Facebook-free. Well, pretty much. You see, I’ve deactivated my account. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, I do not exist anymore. However, once you deactivate your account, you can easily activate it again by simply signing in like you normally would. Damn you Facebook for making it nearly impossible to be rid of you. You’re worse than cocaine. I’ve gathered all of my photos from the past nine years, stored them safely onto my computer, and happily removed the Facebook app from my phone, and I’m upset to say that I was slightly nervous about this. NINE YEARS I’ve been on Facebook, and now I’m giving it up with just the snap of my fingers. Facebook has been a habit for nine years of my life. It’s such a depressing thought to think about all of the other things I could have accomplished before my upcoming 25th birthday instead of waste time on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong. Facebook was cool during the first year or two. But now, I’m in EVERYONE’S business, and everyone is in my business. For instance, I hate that sidebar that tells me So-and-So commented on Person-You’ve-Never-Heard-Of’s photo eight minutes ago. First off, I don’t care. Secondly, why is that my business? Thirdly, Facebook has unintentionally turned me into a creepy stalker, and I don’t like it at all! I’m finding things out that I wasn’t even looking for in the first place, and I feel very uncomfortable about that.

There are several other reasons for my hatred of this social media platform.

  1. The fact that Facebook can somehow tap into my conversations with other people, or what I look up on the internet. When I first looked into road tripping home from California, within 24 hours, articles on Facebook popped up titled, “10 Reasons Why You Should Go On A Road Trip During Winter”. I felt the walls closing in on me.
  2. At least half of my friends are trying to sell me products with every status update and invite.
  3. At least 75% of my friends are screaming politics where it’s not warranted. The VOTE-OR-DIE mentality needs to come to a stop. Now that I don’t have Facebook, I should be able to breathe again.
  4. Majority of the photos that pop up on my news feed, I don’t recognize anyone in the picture.
  5. I don’t like the thought of comparing my life to others. What better way to stop than to get rid of the direct source?
  6. Everyone is either over-the-top-crazy-happy and must announce it to the world, or everyone is unbelievably-bitter-and-must-complain-about-every-aspect-of-life-no-matter-how-irrelevant-it-is and must announce it to the world.

One of my first thoughts as I hovered my cursor over the “deactivate” button was, “What if I never see these people again?” Deep down, I know that my most important friends are just a phone call/text away. Why am I concerned with people I haven’t seen or spoken to in years? I’ve been living without them perfectly fine, I think I can live without their Starbucks pictures and traffic selfies.

Now that I am Facebook-free, I plan to do my best and put all of my energy into things that could make me a better person. For instance, actually completing my Goodreads Reading Challenge, volunteering (not just taking a photo of me volunteering and calling it a day), and focusing on myself instead of others. Simply doing the things I want to do without the fear of judgement from others. I think this is a start to a beautiful future.

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Awkward, Girls, Humor, I'm not a mommy blogger, Insomnia, Social Media, You're Fine

Twitter Thoughts From a Millennial

I really hate writing disclaimers, though I feel it necessary in this situation. This is how my brain reacts when I read a ridiculous article on Twitter. If you’re offended, I’m not actually sorry. This is just how my mind works. This was written a a couple of weeks ago.

I’m twenty-four, and I’m still digesting the breakfast burrito I inhaled about five hours ago. I scroll through Twitter to find a news article about a London-based artist. She’s twenty-two, and is now famous for her period-themed bejeweled panties. There is a picture of a woman in a pair of white grannie panties with a bejeweled ruby red splotch on her vagina. There are many reasons for someone such as myself to be angry. I consider myself to be a relatively normal person, give or take. So here is my list of reasons why I’d like to punch this girl in the throat:

  1. Her goal was to make the menstrual cycle beautiful, so to speak. She wants to get rid of the “taboo” against menstruation to remind women they do not have to be ashamed of their bodies.

1A. I’ve never met a man or a woman who has openly told me that I’m disgusting simply because I have my period. I’d like a list of names of those who have committed this act and stick them in a fifth grade health class.

1B. I know we are supposed to be all, women unite and stuff, but no matter how normal the menstrual cycle is, it’s still gross. Raise your hand if you would be thrilled with the opportunity to bathe in a tub of menstrual blood.

I didn’t think so.

  1. I’m unemployed, and have been struggling to land a decent job that I’m fairly interested in. I still toss the couch cushions around to find quarters to do laundry, and use my boyfriend’s Old Spice body wash because I can’t afford to go to the store and buy my own. So, as I sit on my dirty couch waiting for this Sunday Football day to come to an end, this chick in London is making headway into the art world for placing a bunch of jewels on the crotch of panties and saying she’s making the world a better place for women.

Kill me.

It’s safe to say that nearly every kid in America has daydreamed about what their life will be like in their twenties. I always imagined it like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed working as an undercover reporter for The Chicago Suntimes. I watched Working Girl a couple of years ago and praised Melanie Griffith for growing a pair, but I’d never wish that hair and makeup upon anyone. As a millennial, I voluntarily partake in the social media trends such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for reasons I can’t seem to shake. Everyday, I see the exciting news of people I hated in high school and college as I continue to munch on Cheetos, which I still think is a respectable snack. It’s a lot of work to remind myself with each new post that it’s probably posed.

For example, a girl from high school, let’s call her Stacy, posted a photo of her friend on a rooftop overlooking New York City, mapping her location as the East Village in Manhattan. The composition of the photo was just right. The outfit was just right, and just by looking at the photo, we assume this is their place of residence; all these twenty-something girls shacking it up in an expensive apartment with a beautiful view like it’s Sex and The City. I then look around my apartment with a rickety, aged desk, no matching furniture, a bed that isn’t properly put together and a mouse living in the walls and I become depressed. At least on a clear day, you can see Catalina Island from the roof. Sort of.

I’m blessed to have my brain that reminds me of the reality of what Stacy posted. It’s very much plausible that Stacy could be living in this elegant apartment with her girlfriends, drinking wine every night and throwing dinner parties for her fancy friends. Or, she showed up to some random ass tall building, paid the elderly doorman to allow her inside, was told they only had ten minutes, sprinted to the elevator to shoot their way to the top, yelled at her friend, “Hurry up! We only have four minutes and fifty-six seconds left!” Snapped the photo in a “candid” shot, and sprinted back downstairs where they blew kisses at the elderly doorman and went out for a slice of greasy one-dollar pizza for lunch. Plausible.

Social media has given us millennial kids a way to lie to everyone we ever knew. It is both a blessing and a curse. Now that we can pretend to live these elaborate lifestyles, what’s the point in actually trying to live an elaborate lifestyle? I think the $70,000 education has something to do with it.

Let’s make our way back to the British artist. When I read articles like this, I’m convinced this is why we don’t have a woman president yet. From men, we hear the typical, “Oh, they are just going to cry all the time” and “Women can’t handle the pressure” and “Their periods make them too emotional to handle a job like that.” They probably think these things because we are creating bejeweled panties to remind them we get our periods every month. Why must we remind everyone? They already know. I’m not surprised that men feel the way that they do because they half expect us to walk into a corporate office with flowered crowns, tossing tampons in the air like we’re Oprah.

“You get a tampon, and you get a tampon, and you, and you, and you.

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We act like queens simply because we have to deal with bloody fluids flowing out of our bodies and men don’t. This isn’t 1969.

Having your period really does not affect how you live. Perhaps the first year it did. When I got my period at the age of twelve, I didn’t leave my bed for a year. As we grow older, we learn to live with it. We take it with us to yoga, thanks to Tampax. We take it with us to work, to the grocery store, to the bank, and while doing chores. In fact, I think a woman president would kick ass, especially while on her period. When we are on our period, we don’t want to deal with frivolous crap. Like when your boyfriend asks, “Babe, what do you want for dinner?”

“Give me everything, or I’ll kill you.”

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And then we cry because we have to make a decision between burgers and spaghetti. And then we have to make it. But throw us in the oval office and the vice president asks, “What do we do about ISIS?”

“I’ll tell you what we can do about fucking ISIS.” We then present America/The World with plans A-Z, pick one out of a hat and save the world. I’m obviously being unreasonably sarcastic with that statement.

The idea that women would not be able to handle politics simply because we cry more, or so they claim, is utterly ridiculous. I guarantee anyone who has seen Marley & Me, bawled his or her eyes out. Owen Wilson ripped out your heart, stomped on it, and pepper-sprayed it until it just shriveled up into nothing. Both men and women cried at the end of that movie, which makes us equals. Also, not backed up by data or anything. Just me trying to make sense of bejeweled panties.

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Humor, Internet Things, Manic Monday, Rant, Social Media

Grasping Snapchat

A couple of years ago, Sam urged me to download Snapchat. Another new social media app that apparently was all the rage, and still is to this day.

I downloaded the app, played around with it for a couple days, and then deleted it. I could not for the life of me understand the purpose of it.

“It’s to send each other pictures!” they say. Well, there is a cool thing called text messaging that has been pretty hip for more than ten years now.

“It’s to share photos with your friends!” they yell. Well, there was Facebook, and then suddenly, boom, Instagram!

“It’s to caption funny photos!” they scream. Once again, Facebook, Instagram, and text messaging does all that too.

For you old folks, or even people out there like me who do not care for Snapchat, nor understand it’s use, the app at first allowed you to send a photo to friends that appeared for however many seconds you wanted before disappearing. And then once the photo disappeared, it went away to some faraway land, never to be seen again. This was the perfect opportunity for teenagers to send each other nudes!

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I mean, what better way to send someone a nude pic when it’s just going to disappear in 3 seconds, giving them zero opportunity to show their friends!

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The Ryan Reynolds eye roll is too good.

P.S. Sending nude pics is still really stupid. Don’t do it.

Now, you can have what’s called a “Snapchat Story”, where you can post all of your photos and videos for everyone who follows you to see. Some people, like pro surfer Anastasia Ashley, accidentally post nudes to their Snapchat Story instead of sending it directly to her boyfriend, and people like myself, laugh at their stupidity.

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How does no one else see that Snapchat is just another version of Instagram? It’s literally the same idea. Posting photos and videos to share with your friends. You can even send a pic directly to someone on Instagram now, so yeah, same thing.

I apparently never deleted my Snapchat account and my friends have been sending me photos and videos for years now. Whoops. I probably looked like a jerk because I haven’t responded to a single one of them.

Sorry guys!

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Awkward, Humor, Internet Things, Social Media, Things I Should Have Solved A Year Ago

Acronym Guide for Dummies

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What happened to “g2g”? And “brb”? And “ttyl”?

Those are the acronyms that will stick with me for the rest of my life. That was when AIM was our text messaging, and there was nothing better than hearing that screeching door open hoping it was your best friend or the cute boy from gym class. That’s how I got my first boyfriend, ya know.

7th Grade. I was at my friend’s house and she asked me why I didn’t have a boyfriend. I look back and chuckle because I was twelve. So she simply said, “The first boy to sign on to AIM will be your new boyfriend.” That was a terrifying thought. Many blossoming romances started and ended with the screeching door.

Nowadays, twelve years later, I’m on the Stupid Train when it comes to acronyms because it seems we have gotten so lazy that every phrase is broken down. I mean, back when we had flip phones and it was a total pain to text on them, it was easier just writing “ttyl”. But now kids have iPhones with a better texting structure and stability, yet we are still doing it. I can barely read Facebook and Twitter posts today because they are all made up of acronyms that I don’t understand. Here are some ridiculous acronyms that exist today I found on Huffington Post:

IRL: In Real Life

Huff’s example: “Your blog post was so interesting, I would love to meet you IRL.”

IANAD: I Am Not A Doctor

Huff’s example: “IANAD, but wouldn’t doing a juice cleanse slow your metabolism?”

TIL: Today I Learned

Huff’s example: “TIL people use their whole brain, not just 10%.”

IRONIC.

WDYMBT: What do you mean by that?

Huff’s example: “WDYMBT?”

^^ It takes more time to figure out what each letter means than it does to just simply read, “What do you mean by that?”

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Those are only just a few on that long list of 33 acronyms. So I’ve decided to come up with some useful acronyms of my own that relate to my everyday life.

TCSITBTA: The cat shit in the bath tub again.

My example: “TCSITBTA…damnit.”

NIWNMYB: No, I will not make you breakfast.

My example: “NIWNMYB.”

TT: Taco Tuesday

My example: “Is it TT yet?”

DDL: Don Draper Love

My Example: “Can we watch Mad Men? I need some DDL.”

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OOC: Out of coffee

My Example: “It’s a rough day. We are OOC.”

DS: Dieting sucks.

My Example: “I’m only allowed 3/4 cup of Honey Nut Cherrios. DS!”

WATPC: Where are the potato chips?

My example: “We can’t be out. WATPC?!”

YF: You’re fine.

My example: “Oh, stop and eat your chicken. YF.”

Let’s see if the kids go along with these useful acronyms.

Now tell me folks, what are some acronyms of your own that would be of some use to you daily?

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Art, Family, Humor, Internet Things, Social Media

Facebook Emoji’s

FYI – This post has been sitting in my drafts for six months. I’m unsure why it hasn’t made an appearance yet but I’m still mulling over the emojis. 

I don’t know too many people who are active emoji users on Facebook. The only people I know who seem to use them quite often are my grandma and aunt. When used, I’m left with unanswered questions. For instance, who came up with these god awful emojis? How and why did Mark Zuckerburg hire them to design these icons?

EXAMPLES:

The Crying Monkey

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Sad.

This is a monkey. He seems to have this weird white fungus spilling out of his eyes, which is something I’d be pretty upset about too. All the kids at school make fun of him, which is why he’s under the sad category. This is to raise awareness of bullying everywhere.

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The Sleeping Plant

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Sleepy.

This plant is sleeping. I didn’t realize plants slept. Do they really? Is this a new scientific study that plants take a quick break from their slurping of dirty, muddy water and take a snooze? No growing today fellas. Must recharge.

Angry Zombie

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Angry

This working class citizen has clearly turned into a zombie. I wonder if he will be a new character in The Walking Dead. He fits the part perfectly with those grotesque lifeless eyes, chunky blue hair and scowl.

Baby Chick Named “Sunny Side Up”

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Celebrate.

This depicts a baby chick that has clearly taken a wrong turn in life. She’s now become a sensual prostitute and is offering a glass of luscious wine to take the ease off. You’re her Richard Geer.

Angry Zombie Part Two

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Angry.

So, the kids at school pulled a Carrie on this guy. They covered him in hot pink paint while he was auditioning for the talent show singing “Sometimes When We Touch”. He later made out with a tree.

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The Clinging Coach

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Love.

Student-teacher relationship. ‘Nuff said.

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Salad Fingers

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Confused.

Ya’ll remember Salad Fingers? You would be left confused as well.

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Mouse/Cat

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This is an accurate portrayal of how I eat pizza.

Love

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A half-ham half-cat would make a great Nickelodeon show. And he even has a best friend: a gravy boat, though I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be a watering tin.

I just don’t…get it.

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Humor, Internet Things, Social Media

First Tinder Experience

Dating blows. My brief college dating experience was pretty awful, confusing, and stressful that I’m so thankful it only lasted six months before I met Sam. Because I haven’t dated in five and a half years, I’ve been curious to know what it’s like outside of college. Is it any better? Is it easier or harder? I imagine it must be harder because you don’t have those random dorm parties to attend, or Thirsty Thursday where it was socially acceptable to meet the love of your life blackout drunk. When you’re 25 with a full time job, it’s not cute anymore.

Do you still have that awful texting relationship? Do you still stress about how the other person wrote “Hey” instead of “Heyy”? Or is that for petty eighteen year olds?

If I were single today, would I actually join Tinder? Probably not. There are so many dating sites out there, however do you choose? Blackpeoplemeet.com? Isn’t that kinda sorta racist? But then again, there’s Christian Mingle. Oh, let’s not forget about the Farmer’s Only Dot Com theme song. I have it stuck in my head right now.

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Tinder is known to have many run-ins with rude people who say disgusting things that you would never say to someone to their face. A friend from home came to visit us during this holiday weekend and he showed me the ropes of Tinder. It’s quite entertaining.

First of all, you’re totally judging the other person and can easily click the big “X” to make them go away. And then you can “Heart” someone, and that person gets a notification that someone, somewhere out there thinks you’re cute. I began hearting ladies in my area for our friend, clicking on girls I thought looked nice. I’m talking about the girls who are posed while hiking, and cuddling with puppies. Not the girls with heavy lip liner with a scowl on their face because they think it looks sexy. One girl named Hannah responded to my friends “heart”, which was more like my heart. My friend asked me to start the conversation with her, and I immediately began to panic. It brought me back to those horror days.

I clicked through her profile to see what her interests were. She was a USC student, loves the outdoors and animals, and is a lover of sarcasm. “BOOM. RIGHT THERE. NOBODY IN CALIFORNIA HAS SARCASM.” So I started off the conversation strong by stating that we need people like her to carry the sarcasm from the east coast to the west coast. She responded to “my friend” all happy that I said such things. He handed me the phone again to continue the conversation. At the end of the day, if felt like I was starting a relationship with this girl and she didn’t even know it was me.

I was catfishing someone. And I felt bad about it.

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I’m grateful that at the end of the day, I don’t have to actually use these sites.

I hear some people say, “Dating is so much fun!” I can’t help but think, “Good for you man.” If you’re having a positive experience dating, that’s just wonderful. Keep it up, whatever you’re doing.

One of my experiences was in college, when I “dated” a guy for a whole three days. It went fine until one day when we were hanging out, he decided to ditch me to smoke a blunt in the woods with his friend. Needless to say, I figured I wasn’t interesting enough for him to you know, just do it later. And secondly, I didn’t bother to talk to him again…which I’m sure he was too high to even notice. My dating stories don’t get any more interesting than that.

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I’m interested to hear all of your dating stories and how you feel about it!

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Humor, Internet Things, Social Media, Things I Need, Writing

Grammar Police

As some of you may know, I enjoy reading comments on articles, Facebook statuses, and videos. I find it hilariously infuriating and enlightening all at once. Most of the time when I see an angry commenter, it’s either a little teenager who thinks they know all about the world and how it works (Ummm, hi? Have you heard of Boys Meet World?) or it’s an elderly crabby woman who owns a lot of cats.

We all know what the Grammar Police is. It’s our go-to insult. I recently read a comment stating if you are only insulting the other person strictly on grammar and not on their actual thought, then the problem is with you, and you’re not as intelligent as you seem.

It got me wondering why our first instinct is to break down the other person’s grammar.

I’m no grammar expert. In fact, my grammar is pretty awful if I’m truly not paying attention. I’m sure some of you will find a million mistakes within this post, and that’s fine by me. But why is it so satisfying to see someone make an argument, only to notice that they can’t seem to figure out the difference between “your” and “you’re”?

It’s no wonder why our society can never move forward. If you were in a hot debate with someone about cleaning products, but you were arguing face to face, you’d be more inclined to actually listen to them instead of pointing out their horrible flaws such as grammar and the wrong use of a verb. Don’t get me wrong. Seeing your high school enemy pick a fight with someone on social media, only to use a word incorrectly, or doesn’t use any form of punctuation gives you a spring in your step. It makes you feel alive, empowered, and even thankful for all of those hate notes they used to pass to you in the hallway. It gives you an ounce of pride as if saying, “Oh yeah? Well, at least I can spell the word ‘hospital’!” I’d say that’s a normal thing to feel. It’s even better witnessing a status complaining about horrible grammar, only to have the wrong form of “pass” written within that very status.

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It’s just like in that Sex and the City episode when Carrie Bradshaw receives a note from Natasha, Big’s new hot and young wife. And although Carrie was feeling really down in the dumps, her spirits were high when the note said, “I hope to see you their next year.”

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We definitely seem to be adding road rage to our everyday lives, and not just on the road. Eventually, we will all need anger management.

Here’s another example, thanks to Louis C.K. Only he can explain this one.

Annnnndddd I just watched about thirty Louis C.K. videos.

I guess my point in this post is obvious bad grammar in a rant or a spiritual picture/meme just cancels everything out. If I read an encouraging poster of a girl dancing on the beach and it says, “Lift You’re Spirits High”, all I can see is the wrong form of “you’re”. Nothing else. It doesn’t take much to grammar check before letting an inspirational poster go viral. Same goes with a Facebook argument. Even if I’m on the person’s side and their comment is a slew of words with no proper spelling, punctuation, and no conjunctions…I’ve changed my mind.

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So Grammar Police…keep blowing that whistle and grammar on.

It brings me joy.

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