Attempting to talk sports, Festivities, Humor, Thoughts

19 Thoughts While Filling Out My March Madness Bracket

‘Tis my favorite time of year. Let the March Madness begin.

  1. This is happening. It’s happening. Oh my god it’s happeningggggggg.
  2. There’s something so satisfying about filling out a bracket.
  3. I think I’m sexually attracted to March Madness brackets.
  4. Hmmmm Wisconsin or Virginia Tech?
  5. GOING WITH VIRGINIA TECH BECAUSE I’M A SPICY MAMMA.
  6. Isn’t Baylor a form of Ibuprofen?
  7. I just Googled it. It’s not. But it sounds like it could be, doesn’t it?
  8. Ask your doctor about Baylor today. Side effects include…
  9. I swear to God, Baylor is some kind of pill. Allergy pill? Anyone? If you find the pill, please let me know so that I can stop feeling crazy.
  10. Purdue sounds like a type of soup.
  11. When I say Gonzaga, it sounds like the dramatized version of “Mufasa”. And now I’ve potentially ruined Gonzaga for you. You’re welcome.
  12. Why am I not tweeting this shit?
  13. I feel like those gamers with the headsets and four different screens in front of them while filling out my bracket.
  14. This is the first year I’m betting money with a group. I better win.
  15. Heart palpitations.
  16. Water water water.
  17. Heart palpitations.
  18. North Carolina, do not fail me. Go for the gold.
  19. And now I get to do this all over again with a second bracket. And I cannot wait.
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Humor, Rant, You're Fine

I’m a Casual Fan

If you hear me say, “I love sports,” you can go ahead and believe me. But take it lightly.

I do love sports. You should see me when March Madness starts. I’m an absolute lunatic. But that’s probably the only event in sports that you would see me act this way. Everything else, I’m as mellow as a Southern Belle sipping lemonade in summer.

My biggest struggle when admitting that I love sports is being questioned as to why I don’t watch every game, or know every player, event, arrest, what-have-you, in the news.

When I first started my job in Connecticut, I learned that everyone in the office seems to agree on two things: dogs and baseball. They all LOVE baseball. When they’re not showing each other puppy videos, they are talking about the most recent game. But I’m in a sea of Mets and Yankees fans, while I’m the lonely Red Sox girl who gets crapped on, but to be honest, I’m used to it by now. When I learned my boss is a huge Yankees fan, I bought the most obnoxious Red Sox mug on Amazon and sipped my coffee early in the morning to see if she would react. She definitely noticed.

But now, as Amy Schumer puts it, I have to “fake it til I make it”. I have people come up to me and say, “So how about those Red Sox!? I bet you’re happy.” The awkward thing is that I didn’t watch the game. So I just nod and do a very enthusiastic, “Oh yeah!” and quickly move onto another topic.

I do love the Red Sox. If the game is on, I’ll watch it. But I don’t go out of my way to watch it. Do you get what I’m saying? I have things to do. There are times when I’d rather read or paint. Sue me. I gave up “trying” to prove myself last year when a guy said to me, “Oh, you like the Red Sox? Name five players on the team.” Sexist much? When I named the five players, he scoffed and said, “HE WAS TRADED TWO WEEKS AGO.”

“Wow! A whole two weeks!? You’re right. I’m just a dumb girl trying to fit in with the guys.”

200wSorry, but I have a life. I’m not always paying attention.

I get the reaction, “So, you’re not a real fan.” What does that even mean? Because I don’t paint my face or punch a wall, I’m not a real fan? I think that’s absurd. I feel like girls have it tough when it comes to watching sports. If we don’t show interest, we are just like every other typical girl. If we show too much interest, we must be faking it or trying to impress someone, which follows with the test, “Name five players on the team.” You wouldn’t say that to your bro, would you?

I will straight up tell you that I hate football. Everyone devotes their ENTIRE Sunday to watching every single game on TV. It’s not how I want to spend my last free day before the dreaded Monday. So, while the rest of the world is freaking the fuck out, I hole myself up with a book until it’s all over. I don’t even pretend to care. If the Patriots win, I’m all like, “Yay, that’s great! Want to go grab a pizza?”

Therefore, I am a casual fan. If you invite me to a baseball game, I will happily attend. If you want to check the score of the football game, I will not protest. But don’t expect me to know statistics, or what position a player plays.

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Anecdote, Awkward, Festivities, Humor, Manic Monday, You're Fine

Why Hecklers Are The Worst Kind of People

It is finally baseball season. A time for families to enjoy a nice day out at the ball park with hot dogs, beer, and sunshine. Whether you’re sitting behind home plate or in the nose bleed section, you’re almost always guaranteed a good time. Until you realize you have plopped into a seat directly next to a squawking heckler. Or worse, a group of them. 

I’ve been to my fair share of ball parks including Fenway, PNC Park, Busch Stadium, Dodger Stadium, as well as many others. I attended almost all of them while rocking some form of Red Sox gear because that’s the only baseball gear I own. Of course, by doing this, I expect to hear some lighthearted backlash, especially since I’m a Boston fan and everyone else in the country hates us for various reasons. But there is a big difference between lighthearted, teasing fun, and just being a dick.

Yesterday, I attended my first Mets game. It was a chilly 40 degrees and for the most part, I sat in the shade bundled up in my jacket, USC baseball cap, and blanket. I didn’t wear any Red Sox gear, and thank God I didn’t. Directly in front of me were a group of four young men, roughly the age of twenty-one, who were the worst kind of people. A man walked by in a Boston cap, and the men decided to yell obscene, highly inappropriate insults at the poor man who just wanted to enjoy a friendly Mets game on a beautiful Sunday. They not only did this to the Boston fan, but they did it to Yankee fans, Philly fans, and basically any other person who didn’t wear anything Mets related. The best part was that every time something even remotely interesting happened in the game, they all stood up, as if they were going to get a better look than they already had. This then, resulted in me watching the entire game from the big screen like I’m watching it from the comfort of my own home, which is exactly how you want to feel when you go to a baseball stadium, right? That’s the purpose of going to a baseball park. To feel like you never left your couch! I missed 85% of the plays and I was real bitter about it.

200w-4

One guy continuously yelled, “Fuck the Red Sox!” over and over and over again. I must remind you all that the Mets were playing the Phillies, so try to figure that one out….

Anyone who shows up to a baseball game in this manner has clearly never been to a baseball game. I expect this kind of behavior at a soccer match or a football game, where everyone gets rowdy and yells and it’s a whatever-time. But a baseball game? A quiet, sunny day, relaxing and watching a baseball game is not the time and place for obnoxious screaming.

I think what bothers me most is that some fans can’t seem to take a chill pill. So what if some guy with a Dodgers hat shows up to a Cardinals game in St. Louis? I personally think that anyone who goes to a stadium where both teams playing against each other aren’t even “his” team, he is showing at least some form of respect and trying to enjoy himself in YOUR park. Why do you have to be such a douchebag? He’s literally Swiss! He could probably care less about who wins. The guy just really likes baseball games. So when a heckler mocks and insults someone the entire time, they are completely ruining their experience and they will probably never want to go to that park again. Way to go, bro.

I thought I was going to lose it the more I had to be around these fools. Everyone around us looked at them with disdain with the exception of a few who gave them a tiny sliver of encouragement which was so not what they needed. They reminded me of those guys in high school who were so terribly obnoxious and would do some sort of pizza contest in the cafeteria while everyone pounded their fists on the table chanting things like, “O’DOYLE RULES!” and yet these guys always have a shit load of friends and girls hanging off their every word.

200-11

Meanwhile, I’m in the corner like, “How and why has this come to be?”

But the best part about witnessing these hecklers is that you will most likely see a fight break out because someone finally overheated, or you get to watch security tell them off. Either one is extremely satisfying.

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